


In a Family Way

by puddleofgoo



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Drama, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sex, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-11
Updated: 2011-06-11
Packaged: 2018-01-13 06:04:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 44,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1215403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puddleofgoo/pseuds/puddleofgoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a group of baby squid imprint on Rodney McKay, John Sheppard discovers something about family and himself he previously discounted as important.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In a Family Way

John Sheppard—Lt. Colonel in the US Air Force and military commander of the city of Atlantis in the Pegasus galaxy—was bored.

He was a space explorer and the defender of more people than he was realistically comfortable with especially when you included all the stray societies he was particularly good at bringing into the fold. And he was currently sitting on the native equivalent of a park bench, with absolutely nothing to do.

They were on this planet because the people here were long-standing allies of Atlantis, and the irrigation system the science team had installed for them six months ago was going, to use a technical term, wonky.

His team was primarily first contact, with other teams taking over for any kinds of long-term negotiations, and usually one of McKay’s staff members would be out here making the repairs.

But the usual man for the job had gone and broken his ankle playing rugby of all things, so Elizabeth Weir, the expedition’s leader, had asked McKay if he could run out and fix the irrigation since this planet provided the closest alternative to coffee they had found yet, and no one wanted to piss them off by delaying.

Plus, the coffee crops might go short if they weren’t watered properly. It was really in everyone’s best interest that the irrigation was fixed as soon as possible.

So while McKay was fixing the shit that had broken, Teyla Emmagen was doing her magic negotiation stuff trying to get them a bigger share of the crop in exchange for fixing the thing, and Ronon Dex was, for reasons unknown, a huge hit with the kids on this planet and was currently in the square being crawled all over while playing what John would call “horsey”.

However, that left John to himself, sitting on the park bench with nothing to do.

"Staring at me is not going to make me work any faster," McKay grumbled without looking up from where he was hunched over one of the connections. He was still tracing the lines and checking each and every connection before he started taking anything apart.

"I'm bored."

"Oh, so that's what the huffing and the staring is all about. Go seduce an alien priestess or something."

John rolled his eyes. "Why are you always so intent on getting me laid by some random priestess? I would think you'd be more worried I'd get space herpes or something."

McKay shrugged and shifted to look at the joint better. "Keller has good drugs that can take care of that and it would stop you from staring at me."

"Maybe I like staring at you better than seducing women I don't know. You do realize I've been celibate since we walked through the gate?"

McKay snorted, half crawling around the irrigation pipe. "Right."

"Why is that so hard to believe?"

"You've looked at yourself, right?" McKay said, glancing up at John for a beat before reaching for a tool. "If you're celibate then there's no chance in hell of me getting laid in the next century and just thinking about that makes me tense and angry, so…"

John rolled his eyes again. "I didn't say I hadn't been propositioned, just that I hadn't taken anyone else up on it. You have nothing to worry about, McKay. If you actually paid attention, you'd know at least half the base wants to be in your bed."

McKay let out a harsh laugh. "Right. Okay, this one is fine. I'm moving upstream," he said, picking up his tools and climbing to his feet. "This is going to take a while, you know. You don’t have to babysit me."

Shrugging, John stood up to follow him. "This is a boring planet, and you are currently the only source of amusement in several light years."

"Great," McKay said dryly, rolling his eyes. "You could always go and get me lunch."

"Again, not nearly as interesting as listening to you curse at primitive machines and your staff for installing them."

"It's just going to take me longer the more I stop for breaks. We're what, thirty minutes from the town? Round trip and then add in resting once I get there… We're talking about at least two hours of time round-trip that could be better put to use actually fixing the damn thing I came here to fix." McKay glared at John. "And it's not like you're actually helping me at all."

John took out a PowerBar and tossed it over. "How's that?"

McKay scowled at it. "That's not what I had in mind."

John sighed. "You want me to just walk away and leave you alone on an alien planet to get you a snack. Seriously. What happened to that famous self-preservation thing?"

"There are no large man-eating creatures around. You know that. We've been here twenty times." McKay rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine. Just…hover away from me. You're annoying me."

John sighed. McKay was right, and frankly, he needed to move. "What do you want from the village? And I swear to Christ if you get yourself kidnapped, eaten, shot or otherwise harmed while out of my sight, I will make it my life's mission to find a way to resurrect you so I can kill you myself."

McKay glanced at him with a deepening scowl. "I said the PowerBar was fine."

"I decided I need a walk, so I might as well get you something while I'm gone. Just please… do me a favor and don't do anything stupid until I get back."

"So go patrol. I'm going to go up to the source water. Maybe it's just a clog or something up there. All the downstream pipes seem to be fine."

"Rodney, stop being a dick and tell me what you want. Otherwise I'm just going to follow you around and be as annoying as I can possibly be for the rest of the day."

"I want Henderson to be here tromping through this damn field finding the broken part of the irrigation system from hell. I want unlimited amounts of coffee and chocolate. I want a bed that doesn't kill my back. I want to not worry if I can't fix the next big problem to crop up on a 10,000 year old city." He glanced at John, his expression bitter and tired. "I can go on if you want."

John was surprised at the sudden urge to pull the other man into his arms. They had only slept together a handful of times, and it had been casual, so the sudden rush of emotion was not expected. Instead, he let his expression soften. "If I could, I would give you all of it. But right now, the best I can do is a really good snack and a big cup of not-coffee. Will that work?"

McKay shrugged, looking away. "You're going to do whatever you want, so just…do whatever you want."

John thought about asking why McKay always seemed so intent on making him the bad guy. But he just sighed instead. "I'll be back in under an hour. Stay out of trouble and radio if you need anything."

"Yes, yes. I know how to use the radio," McKay mumbled, the anger already gone from his voice.

Oh, he heard about the displeasure and took his share of verbal abuse—giving as good as he got—but unlike others, McKay always let it go as soon as the conversation was over. He wasn't sure why that was important to him, but he decided not to think about it.

"Don't do anything stupid!" McKay called out after him.

"I promise, no alien priestesses!" John called back, and then jogged out of range before McKay could retaliate.

It took a good twenty minutes to reach the village, the bustling town eagerly drawing him in.

He wandered over to the small house where they usually traded for snacks. He pulled out a few of the small coins the science team had made them for trading on worlds like this one. "Hello?"

The man behind the counter—Alton—if John remembered correctly, glanced up. "Colonel, how can I help you?" McKay was convinced that this was a precursor to the Pegasus Galaxy's version of Starbucks. John hated to admit it, but it was close to the truth.

He set out his coins. "I have a hungry and thirsty scientist out fixing your irrigation system. Can you give me something good that won't kill him? You know his allergies."

"I have a new batch of sweet breads in the oven. Perhaps you would like to wait for those to be ready?" Alton said. "I can make one of my special drinks while you wait—even throw in one for you as well."

John smiled. "That would be perfect, as long as the wait isn't too long." This particular planet just thought he was indulgent with his need to protect his team. He was also pretty sure half of them thought he and Rodney were an item.

"It will be a short wait, so please sit and rest." Alton turned to move into the back of the shop to prepare the beverage. "Hot or cold, Colonel?"

"Cold for both. By the time I'd get back out there, they'd be cold anyway."

"Of course, of course," he said, ducking into the other room.

John leaned against a wall and looked outside. It was strange. He knew he should feel peaceful here, of all places, but he could never really shake his tense muscles when he was off world.

The scent of almost-coffee started to drift from the small back room.

It was pretty heavenly. John wondered if they could convince Elizabeth to let them start a Not-Starbucks chain in Atlantis.

He'd invite Alton there without hesitation. The drinks he made were probably better than what you could get at a Starbucks. John was actually surprised that most Pegasus natives weren't addicted to the stuff. If Rodney could get away with a daily "almost-coffee" run here, he would.

When everything was ready, John packed the snacks carefully in his vest and took a coffee in each hand. He sipped his own, and made a happy noise. "If you ever decide to relocate, I get first dibs."

Alton chuckled. "Your Doctor McKay has invited me many times to your city, but I have no desire to leave. It is…fulfilling here."

"And you can charge us more if you know we're willing to cross the galaxy for your stuff. You're turning us into junkies." John grinned.

"It is my pleasure to provide you with these delicacies. I am pleased you and Doctor McKay enjoy them."

John laughed again. "We'll be back. Thanks. I better get this to him before he starts bitching at me on the radio for taking too long."

"Of course, Colonel. Enjoy and may you return again."

John strolled out, starting back for where he had left McKay.

About halfway there he started getting weird static, as if someone was trying to reach him on the radio.

Stopping, John set the almost-coffees on the ground and tapped his radio. "This is Sheppard. Anyone out there? I'm getting static."

He waited for a long moment, holding his breath. Just as he was bending down to get the almost-coffees he heard it again. "….stupid…did you go..."

He was running before it was finished. "McKay. I'm on my way."

John got several other bursts of static, McKay's exclamations in the clear sections. He sounded frantic but annoyed. It was weird.

It took him half the amount of time to get back to where he had left McKay then it had taken him to leave. He started trying to locate him immediately. "McKay? Where the fuck are you?"

He waited for the scientist to reply even as his eyes scanned the horizon. McKay said he was heading to the source water…which meant the lake. Damn. He still has a ways to go.

Taking a guess, John started for the lake in an all out run, all his senses on high alert.

"Get off me! Off! Off! Blood-sucking…."

He put on another burst of speed and came around a corner in the path with his gun out and pointed. "McKay!"

At first he didn't see anything except McKay's tool box and then the scientist erupted out of the water, shaking and yelling and doing some strange jig—until he slipped and went under again.

John didn't even think about it. He was in the water trying to get a hand on McKay to yank him out.

McKay came up sputtering. "Get them off! Off!" he yelled even as he tried to pull his clothes off to get at something—something John didn't see. Until he saw a lump move under the wet fabric of McKay's pant leg.

John hauled him onto the bank and started stripping him. He didn't even realize he had pulled his knife and was cutting the clothing off Rodney until he noticed in passing the shreds of fabric. "Hold still! I need to get to whatever is hurting you!"

"Get them off!" McKay yelled. "Get them off now!" He was digging at his arms and legs and ignoring John as he tried to stop whatever it was from crawling anywhere else on his body.

He gave up trying to be nice about it and just ripped the clothes off Rodney's body in record time.

John spotted the… He stopped, his mouth gaping open. It was some kind of…squid? It was roughly the size of a golf ball and there were four of them, eagerly crawling up McKay's body leaving a trail of red suck marks behind.

"What the fucking hell are those?"

"I don't know," McKay answered, his voice shaking. "Just get them off!"

John moved carefully. They didn't seem to be hurting him, just shaking him up, so John tried to use his knife to get underneath them to pry them off.

"Please," McKay said, his hands cupping himself. "Get them off me. Sheppard…"

They were avoiding his knife, so he abandoned it and started trying to catch them with his bare hands. "What the hell are they and where did they come from?"

"Near the intake valves…was checking the intake mechanism and I felt something on my leg…" McKay said, visibly trying to calm himself down—the hand flailing had stopped—but he kept twitching every time the mini squid moved.

They had all more or less stopped moving, but John was having a hell of a time pulling the first one off. "Is it hurting you at all?"

"What does it matter?" McKay asked, his eyes going wide as they focused up at John. "They don't belong on my body. Get them off!"

"I'm working on it, but I'm trying to decide if I should risk trying to shoot them off you. If they aren't hurting you, I can save that for a last-ditch effort."

"No shooting!"

"Okay, then just hold still and try not to move." John retrieved his knife.

One of the squid things opened its eyes—they took up like the entire head-thing—and then let out a high pitched squeal. Rodney screamed a moment later. "Stop! No knife! No knife!"

John froze. "Rodney?"

"Now it hurts…"

"Tell me what they're doing to you, Rodney. I need to know so I can figure out the best way to get them off without causing you any more pain."

"They were like mobile hickey machines until you started brandishing that knife and they saw it. They bit down!" Under one of the mini squids on McKay's thigh, a thin line of red started running down the side of his leg.

"Christ." John put the knife away. "How aware are they, McKay? Do they understand us?"

"I don't know," he said with a whimper, his hands still protecting the family jewels. "It's not like they're talking to me. You heard it scream a second before it took a chunk out of my leg."

"Okay." John looked at the squid things. "If you… squid… can understand me, you need to let go of Rodney and climb down, otherwise, I'm going to have to find a way to remove you."

"Stop talking to the…squid! Did you say squid?" McKay half rolled, looking down at the one on his leg he could see.

"They sort of look like squid. And I'm just trying to give them a chance if they are sentient. They aren't hurting you, so I'd rather not be forced to kill them if I don't have to. But you come first, so I will do whatever is necessary if they won't release you."

"And what if killing them brings mom? What then?"

"Then I'll deal with Mom. I will not leave these things on you, Rodney. They will come off, one way or another."

McKay rolled back down, lying flat on the ground. "As long as you don't brandish your knife they haven't hurt me. I just…really want them off."

"I don't blame you." John knelt next to him and focused on the closest squid. "Okay. You are coming off now, Blue."

"Don't start naming them!"

"I'm not naming, them, I'm calling them by their color. If they are aware, I want them to know I don't want to hurt them since they haven't hurt you. But that I am serious about them coming off."

"You're splitting hairs. You're naming them," McKay's voice was headed toward the higher pitch range again. The red fella was on the move, apparently, creeping up toward his crotch.

"Okay, Red, none of that now." John decided to take the movement as way to get them off. He got hold and pulled in the direction the thing had been moving, hoping to use some of the momentum.

After a fair bit of tugging—and some whimpering screams from McKay—Red let go with a pop. John held him up, the squid's huge eyes blinking up at him. After a moment, John put him down on the edge of the bank and he shuffled his way back into the water.

"Okay, one down, Four to go." It took him the better part of an hour to remove the others.

By the time John was finished, McKay was shivering with cold. The sun was starting to set and it wasn't exactly summertime. And thanks to John, McKay was far less clothed than he should have been.

McKay had finally fallen silent about halfway through the removal procedure. While it had been nice—in the non-panicking sense—John's own sense of worry started skyrocketing. A complaining McKay was a fine McKay. A silent one wasn't good.

As soon as the last squid was back in the water, John stripped off his TAC vest and took off his shirt, handing it to McKay. Then he stripped out of his pants and handed those over as well, keeping his boxers and putting his vest back on.

"Sheppard…" McKay protested quietly as he held John's shirt. "You need this."

"Put it on." John shrugged his gear back into place. "The shirt and the pants. I cut yours off you instead of just removing it, so I can share mine."

"There's no way your pants will fit me."

"Yes, they will." John gave him a small smile. "You're thinner than you think, and I'm fatter than you think. They might not fit perfectly, but they'll do until we can get back to Atlantis."

"No."

John sighed. "Just put the damn clothes on. You have squid hickeys all over you, and I seriously doubt you want to have to explain that to the entire base. Keller will be bad enough."

"I'll take the shirt," McKay said, tossing the pants back at John.

"I'm not taking the pants back. You can wear them, or go back with your cock hanging out. Your choice."

"My boxers are fine."

"Your boxers are falling off since I sliced them in a few places and will probably not make it back on the walk to the gate." John sighed. "Do you have to argue with me on everything? I'm trying to help, Rodney. I know you would be uncomfortable if you walked back on base in your boxers with squid hickeys all over you, including on your inner thighs. If you're wearing my pants, there will be talk, but it won't be nearly as bad."

"Ronon might have something I can borrow. Or one of the villagers," McKay said as he pulled John's shirt over his head—hiding the squid hickeys on his chest.

John was suddenly tired. He didn't know why that made his chest hurt. "You'd rather wear anyone else's but mine."

"You're not walking back to Atlantis naked!"

"I have my boxers on, and my TAC vest. And I'm not covered in squid hickeys."

"Put on your damn pants," McKay said, shifting to climb to his feet.

"No. You wear them, or I leave them here."

McKay turned a tight-lipped glare at him before turning his back and moving to the water's edge to grab his tool box.

"Please don't get any more squid stuck to you."

"What does it matter?" McKay knelt down in the mud, picking up the tools that had fallen out.

John licked his lips. "Because if I have to spend any more time running my hands over your body, I'm going to give you a completely different reason to be pissed at me." John blinked. "Christ, I can't believe I just admitted that out loud."

"Admitted what?" McKay glanced over his shoulder, confusion on his face. Apparently he hadn't been listening. John wasn't sure if that was good ro bad.

John had to swallow hard. What the fuck was he thinking? "I… never mind."

McKay shook his head and sighed as he finished putting his tools away. Several of them were coated in mud, but he jammed them in the carrier anyway. It just proved how out of it he was.

John took a deep breath and walked over, putting a hand over Rodney's. "You'll be pissed later when you get back and realize what you're doing."

"Doesn't matter. Got mud in there when I was…flailing around." McKay' tilted the tool box so John could see inside—and the drying globs of mud. He sighed. "See. Doesn't matter."

John made a face. "All right."

"Can we just…go?"

"Yeah, let's get the hell out of here."

The next day when a new repair team was sent out to fix the irrigation system, they discovered it was in perfect working condition.

***

**Six Weeks Later**

Rodney was elbows deep in the city's desalination plant machinery when he got a call from Mister Woolsey asking for his immediate attendance in his office. He begged off, but Woolsey insisted, and he managed to get a twenty-minute window to clean up and grab a cup of coffee from the mess.

Sheppard was already ensconced in one of Woolsey's chairs when he finally arrived thirty minutes after the initial call. "Yes, what? What was so important that you couldn't discuss it over the radio?" He pinned Sheppard and Woolsey with a look.

Woolsey cleared his throat. "We have had an… interesting…. call from our trading partners on PX5-227."

Rodney stared at Woolsey waiting for the rest, but it wasn't forth coming. "And? Therefore? I care about this why?"

Woolsey leaned forward and templed his fingers. "That's the planet where you went, six weeks ago, to fix the irrigation systems. Apparently, there was something you and Colonel Sheppard left out of that report."

"Left out?" Rodney pinned Sheppard with a look.

John shrugged. "I didn't think it was important since all they did was leave hickeys."

Rodney narrowed his eyes. "Is this about the squid? I didn't leave anything out of the report. How could I? I was covered in hickeys for days and I walked into the gateroom in less coverage than I was comfortable with."

Woolsey cleared his throat to get their attention. "Apparently the, ah, squid, as you call them, are demanding that their… mother… return to collect them."

"Their what!"

"They are, apparently, quite distraught that you haven't returned for them, and our very good allies are upset that we didn't mention the incident or return for them."

"They tried to eat me!" He waved his hands at Sheppard. "You explain it since you apparently forgot to mention it in your report."

"You have already acknowledged, and Colonel Sheppard confirmed before you arrived, that, for the most part, they seemed to just want to cling to you, and caused no damaged beyond the…. hickeys."

Rodney turned back to Woolsey. "So what's the big deal?"

Woolsey sighed. "They have grown in size and arrived in the town quite upset. Apparently they have the ability to communicate, which, if I'm reading this correctly, they picked up from you and Colonel Sheppard in your encounter. They view you, Doctor McKay, as the first being they encountered after hatching, as their mother and wish to be reunited with you."

Sighing, Rodney rubbed a hand over his face as he turned back to the Colonel. "I told you not to name them."

"I was calling them by their colors so you'd know which ones I was pulling off next. That's not naming."

"You named them!"

"Blue isn't a name!"

"And you called the other one Red. You addressed them! You talked to them!" Rodney knew his voice was rising in pitch and right now he didn't care. There were…squid things out there looking for him. If they'd grown any bigger he'd probably end up as their dinner and not just as a chew toy.

Woolsey cleared his throat. "I have been assured that they are not dangerous creatures. I would like your team to personally return to the planet to handle this matter and get it resolved in a way that will be satisfactory to everyone involved."

"Resolved?" Rodney asked as he swung back to Woolsey. "How do you suggest we resolve it?"

"I would stress that it should be resolved in such a way as to leave you unharmed and our trade agreements and goodwill undamaged, Doctor McKay."

Rodney narrowed his eyes at Woolsey. "And you're sending us?"

"They are specifically requesting you and your team, Doctor McKay."

"Well, unless you want to drink salt water for the foreseeable future, I suggest you send someone else."

Woolsey sighed. "This alliance is of the utmost importance, Doctor McKay. I'm afraid it's not up for debate. Your team will leave in three hours, so please be prepared."

"What! You can't just…make unilateral decisions like that!"

"That is one of the benefits of my position." Woolsey gave him a tight smile. "Now, I am sure there are things you'll want to reassign before leaving. Please make use of this time. Colonel, have your team prepared."

"Sheppard, you just can't—"

Sheppard stood and grabbed Rodney's arm, pulling him out of the office. He waited until they were clear to let him go. "Look, I don't like this either, but I wasn't given a choice. I won't let anyone or anything hurt you, okay? We'll just go, clear up the misunderstanding, and come home."

"I can't just leave the desalination tanks the way they are to go on a mission. I was in the middle of a complicated and very delicate repair."

"I know." Sheppard sighed. "I fought with him for the better part of an hour before he called you. It finally came down to him saying we were going, or I was staging a coup and overthrowing his authority as the overall mission leader."

"Oh, come on," Rodney hissed as Sheppard led him into the transporter. He tapped the area nearest the labs. "You can't be serious."

"Unfortunately, I am." Sheppard ran a hand through his hair, which Rodney had learned was one of his tells. "He's dead serious about making sure we don't fuck up one of the best alliances we've found in this galaxy over a few squid hickeys. He was furious with me for not really going into it in my original report, despite there not really being anything to say at that time."

Rodney sighed as they emerged from the transporter, directly outside of the main science lab. "Fine. Let me…figure out something. Zelenka's working on jumper repairs, but I'm going to have to tell him that he needs to work on the tanks if we want fresh water tonight."

Sheppard nodded. "Woolsey wanted us to leave ASAP, but I convinced him to give us a few hours. I figured you would need the time to rearrange things. I'm sorry I couldn't put it off a day. I tried."

"Yeah yeah," Rodney said, waving him off. "Go away. I'll meet you in the ready room."

John nodded and headed off the other direction, presumably to rearrange his own schedule.

To say that Radek was upset when he was pulled off the jumper project—again—was an understatement. He was still talking in Czech when Rodney finally left two hours later and honestly, Rodney was a little worried that he might not have power or water in his quarters when he got back.

Teyla and Ronon were both waiting for him in the ready room, but Sheppard didn't arrive until a few minutes later. He was quick to gear up, and then they all headed to the gate room as a team.

Rodney's pack was a little more stuffed this time, thanks to the addition of another full set of BDUs. He was not coming back to Atlantis in his boxers again—if he had the choice. He'd also grabbed a handful of coins he could use at Alton's shop. If he had to go to the planet, he was getting an afternoon snack and coffee beverage. Squid or no squid.

They went through the gate, and found the usual group of people there waiting for them, although with less smiles than usual. "Doctor McKay, it is good that you have returned."

"Not like I was given a choice," Rodney grumbled, his words ending in an oomph when Sheppard elbowed him.

Sheppard stepped in. "We were just informed this afternoon about the problem. We apologize if there has been a misunderstanding. We didn't realize when we encountered the, ah, creatures, that it would cause a situation down the road. We have something similar on our planet that doesn't behave this way."

"They are a sacred being to us and it…disturbs us that you have altered its behavior."

Sheppard shared a quick glance with Rodney. "We apologize. We didn't realize the importance of them, and we assure you, we meant no harm to them. In fact, Doctor McKay and myself went out of our way not to harm them at the time of the incident."

"And yet you held a knife to it."

John twitched, but Sheppard was pretty sure he was the only one who noticed. "At the time, I didn't know if it was hurting Doctor McKay or not. My priority was in keeping him safe. When I realized they weren't hurting him, I put the knife away and returned them to the water."

"Wait a minute," Rodney said, stepping forward and ignoring the look of warning from Sheppard. "They talked to you? Told you what happened?"

The leader, his name was something like Hitachi, nodded. "They are quite vocal in their desire to have you returned to them, Doctor McKay. The Allusava bond with the first being they encounter after hatching."

"The what?"

"The Allusava that you have bonded with. That they have been left to fend without you for this long has created some…odd behavior in them that has us most concerned."

Rodney took a breath and tried not to yell. "Odd behavior?" As if talking squid wasn't strange enough.

"When the Allusava imprint, they pick up much from their parent, including language and mannerisms. They have not imprinted with a human in many, many years."

"So this has happened before?"

"Very rarely. We are careful not to go near their spawning area during the hatching time, and for not alerting you to stay away we accept partial responsibility for what has happened. But now that they have imprinted, no other but you will be able to interact with them at the level they require."

"A level that they require…?" Rodney was starting to get the first stirrings of panic.

They had started walking toward the city. Hitachi shrugged. "They are capable of communicating with those who they are not imprinted on, but it is more difficult. Mostly, they get their personalities and communicate through their imprint. That is why we try to restrict imprinting with humans."

"Do they…ah…talk…like how we talk?"

"They project their wishes directly to whomever they want to communicate with." Hitachi sighed. "But in this case, they have fashioned what they call… sticky notes, and are writing their wishes on them."

"Sticky notes?" Rodney half-laughed at the absurdity of it and vaguely wondered if 3M would sue for trademark infringement.

John groaned behind him. "McKay, you've ruined them."

"I didn't do anything and I wasn't carrying a Post-It note pad with me when I was here last time."

Hitachi nodded. "They pick up many stray thoughts in the first few minutes of the bonding." He glanced at Rodney. "I get the impression your mind is very vast, Doctor McKay, and there was much for them to gather."

"Great, just great," he muttered as they walked into the village. It took less than a minute before a high-pitched shrill went up and several cat-sized brightly colored…things were hurtling at him from all directions.

He didn't even have time to react before they were crawling all over him. He was getting a weird buzz in the back of his mind like he sometimes got from Atlantis, but one—Blue, Rodney noted with a glare at Sheppard—made it to his chest and held up what could only be termed a large Post-In Note. "Daddy! You came back!"

"Ah….hi?" Rodney said, trying not to panic about the obvious germs and alien squid and other whatnot that was now all over him.

Red shoved Blue out of the way and nuzzled him. She—he had no idea why he thought of that one as female and the first as male—held up another Post-It. "We missed you."

What was really, really weird—apart from the attack of the talking and literate squid—was the fact that his brain was trying to figure out where they'd got the Post-It notes from.

Yellow—another male he decided—scribbled something and held up another note. "We made them, Daddy. Just like you taught us."

"Okay, okay, look. Let's get one thing straight, I'm not your daddy."

The last one—Purple, and another female—held up another Post-It. "That's what you call a male parent in your mind, Daddy."

Rodney looked over at Sheppard with a desperate expression on his face. "Ah…a little help here would be nice."

Sheppard looked like he was trying to hold back a laugh. "Why don't we… adjourn to somewhere more private where you and your… children… can sort things out."

"Sheppard! This is not funny."

Sheppard shrugged, but got down on his knees and looked at the squid. "I'd like to apologize to all of you for scaring you. We didn't understand what you were or what you were doing at the time, and I was afraid you were going to hurt him."

All four of the squid blinked at Sheppard and Rodney got a rush of…thought and emotion from them. Once he sorted through it, he burst out laughing.

Sheppard glanced up. "I hope that means they accept my apology."

"They really like your hair," Rodney said, barely holding in another laugh.

Sheppard shot him a look, but stood up. "What is it with you and my hair? Now you're spreading it around."

"I didn't do anything," Rodney protested as the squid climbed off of him and started leading him to one of the huts in the village.

The team followed him into the hut, but the villagers stayed outside. He saw Sheppard say something to them before shutting the door, then he looked at all of them, squid included. "Okay, we need to figure something out here, because we won't be able to leave on good terms unless you guys are happy." He motioned for the squid. "And Woolsey will be pissed at both of us if we bring you back to the city."

Rodney's hands immediately cradled his head and groaned as soon as the shout of dismay echoed in his head from the squid.

"Hey!" Sheppard was at his side, lifting Rodney's head to look in his eyes. "No hurting him."

"They…yell," Rodney said after a moment and after he was able to catch his breath. He pointed to his head. "I can hear them."

Sheppard gave him a look. "I gathered." He sighed. "I need some ideas here, people. Woolsey will tear me a new one if I let you come back. I'm willing to take the heat, but seriously, I need some reassurances before I do that."

"I don't think we have much of a choice," Rodney said as he slumped into a chair. Purple immediately began pawing at his pockets with one of his tentacles. "Hey stop that," he said without heat, trying to slap it away. Purple squeed a moment later, coming away with several coins in its grasp. "Hey! Those are mine."

"Are you using them already to be your minions and get you coffee? Because that's a little twisted, McKay. They think you're their father."

"I didn't tell them to do anything," he protested as Purple and Yellow headed out the door. Red and Blue cuddled in close, tentacles wrapping around his legs. "I'm trying very hard not to panic here," he said, looking up at the rest of his team with wide eyes. "Do something."

"I think they're reading your desires from your head. They probably know that coffee is the fastest way to your heart."

"This is not funny," Rodney said, crossing his arms over his chest.

John sobered up a bit. "No, but we can't just leave them here, Rodney. They're obviously attached to you, and I can't knowingly put anyone, not even squid, through that kind of trauma when it's obvious they aren't a threat."

"Who says they aren't a threat?"

Sheppard looked at the two cuddling with him pointedly. "Granted, they could surprise us, but be honest with me, McKay. Do you consider them a threat I need to be concerned about?"

"They're alien squid! What do you think?" He scowled at Sheppard. He was being particularly dense about this whole thing.

"Alien squid who are in love with you like you're their parent."

Rodney's scowl deepened. "I hate you."

"But you can't honestly tell me you'd walk away from them right now."

Before Rodney could open his mouth to answer, the door to the hut opened and Purple and Yellow wandered back in, one holding a coffee, the other a pastry.

Sheppard smirked at him. "They already know you well, McKay."

"I didn't ask for it," he protested, even as he took the snacks from the squid.

"Not out loud." Sheppard looked at the squid and Rodney. "You said yourself they're in your head."

Purple offered Rodney his tentacle, dropping the extra coins into Rodney's outstretched hand. "Ah…thanks."

He heard someone snicker, and glared at Sheppard, who didn't look very repentant.

"Why don't you go and discuss with the nice village people what our options are since I obviously cannot stay here."

Sheppard looked at the squid, who were all looking back at him. "I think we have to take them with us, Rodney. We can pretend otherwise, but in the end, why not save ourselves the time? I'm well aware of how much heat we'll take for it, and I take full responsibility for the decision."

"Then I think you and Teyla need to make nice with the village people," Rodney said slowly. "The last thing we need is an issue when we go home."

Sheppard and Teyla shared a look, and finally Sheppard nodded. "Stay here and get to know your baby squid. Ronon, stay with them."

Rodney scowled at Sheppard, but didn't argue as Purple and Yellow climbed up on the chair and settled in next to him, wrapping tentacles around his waist and upper arm.

A red tentacle came up with a Post-It Note. "Don't you want us, Daddy?"

"I'm just…this is a lot to take in," Rodney said with a sigh. "I wasn't expecting this at all."

"We know." This time it was a blue tentacle. A yellow popped up right behind it. "We'll be good, we promise."

"What's with the Post-It notes? You obviously can talk to me in my head."

The squid all hesitated, then he heard the response in his head. He didn't know how he knew it was Blue, but he did. "We can sense that it makes you uncomfortable to talk to us like this, Daddy."

"It's just new. So is this possible because of my ATA gene?"

He got a sense of the negative. "We can talk to our bondmate no matter who that is this way, and to each other. And to anyone you designate as okay to talk to this way."

"Bondmate?"

"We are bound to you. When we're old enough, we'll leave and spawn our own children, but until we're ready, it hurts to be away from you, Daddy."

"Oh. I didn't know," Rodney said, glancing up at Ronon who was hovering at the door. "Why didn't you…mention something before?" A couple of the squids' tentacles were wandering their way toward bare skin as they talked, burrowing under the leg or his pants or along the collar of his shirt.

"We couldn't talk yet. We had to process all the information you gave us, and then we had to get big enough to come look for you."

One tentacle slid in under the hem of his shirt along his waist, hitting a tickling spot. "Hey. Careful there."

"We will avoid spots that make you uncomfortable, Daddy."

"Just don't…tickle. Okay?"

"Okay Daddy." It was a chorus in his head.

If anything, the groping got more sure and confident as the tentacles slid onto skin. Rodney sighed.

"Why are you upset with us, Daddy?'

"I'm not upset. Really. I'm just…this is very confusing and a lot to take in. There are a lot of decisions that have to be made now." He glanced down at Red near his hip. Her tentacle was now wrapped around his ankle, trailing up his leg under his pants. "Are there any more of you?"

"No, Daddy. Not who are bonded to you. The rest of our hatch bonded to others."

"But there are more of you."

"Yes. There are one hundred and fifty of us in our hatch. We are the only ones to take a human bondmate, but not for lack of trying. It's frustrating that they stay away when we need bondmates. We think they believe they help, but it's better to have a human."

"One hundred and fifty of you," Rodney gasped, making Ronon start toward him, but Rodney waved him off.

"That is normal for a hatch. We only hatch once per solar cycle."

"That's a lot of you."

"Is it?"

"I think it is," Rodney said with a shrug, trying to contemplate that many squid things. He took a sip of his coffee, sighing with contentment.

"It's just how you like it, Daddy."

Rodney chatted on and off with the mini squids for nearly an hour before Sheppard came back with the news—they couldn't leave yet, and especially not with the squid. Teyla was still in negotiations with the village elders.

"But, what do you mean we can’t leave?"

Sheppard dropped onto the bench next to Rodney. He looked surprisingly tired. "Apparently they're sacred, and only breed once a year, and the idea of us taking them away from that is kind of pissing them off."

"But there are one hundred and forty-six other mini squids."

John raised an eyebrow. "Be that as it may, your mini-squid are the first to bond with people in a long time, and they're rather upset about the whole idea of letting them go off world where they might get hurt or eaten or something."

"I didn't ask for them to bond with me!"

"I know and Teyla is trying to work it out." He looked at the squid. "Look guys, your, ah, Daddy is a very important man on our world, and he can't stay here. I'm fine with you coming, and I'll cover for him on it, but we can't afford to start a war over you."

Rodney frowned as they all answered unanimously for him to just stay on the planet with them. "You know I can't do that."

Sheppard shook his head. "He can't stay, guys. If he does, a lot of people on a lot of planets will be hurt or killed."

"You know Teyla's not going to resolve this tonight," Rodney said quietly, looking at Sheppard.

Sheppard sighed. "Ronon, head back to the gate and report what's going on. Have them send through kits for overnight."

"I have an extra set of BDUs," Rodney admitted as Ronon took off without a backwards glance.

Sheppard raised an eyebrow, but otherwise didn't comment.

"After the incident last time, I thought it best to be prepared."

"I don't blame you."

Rodney chuckled quietly. "So, should we figure out how we're getting dinner for the team and sort out how we're bunking down?"

"We'll all bunk down here—I don't want to split us up, even on a world we've never had issues on before."

"There are only two beds here."

"You and Teyla will take them, and Ronon will bunk on the floor while I take first watch. Then we'll switch as needed."

"On the floor? We can just ask for another hut thing," Rodney said, waving his hand, but the gesture was cut short by Blue's tentacle wrapped around his wrist.

"It's fine. Neither Ronon nor I cares about sleeping on the floor."

Rodney sighed. "This is…." He glanced down at the squids and censored himself, "…messed up."

Sheppard shrugged. "Just another day in the Pegasus Galaxy."

Rodney snorted. "Apparently."

"So other than give you hickeys, what can they do?"

"The actually haven't given me any this time," Rodney said, lifting his hand and mentally asking Blue to let go—and he did gently. Rodney showed Sheppard his wrist. "See. No hickeys. They like to talk, though."

"Good. I'm pretty sure your department would never let you get away with more hickeys."

Rodney blushed, ducking his head. It had been a nightmare when he finally had gotten back to the lab. There had been lip drawings everywhere and no one could hold back the comments.

"So. No hickeys, guys, and we'll sort out everything from where Teyla leaves off in the morning."

Purple held out a Post-It note to Sheppard. "What's a hickey?"

"A hickey is a little red mark where you get a little overzealous with the sucking. The blood comes up to the surface, but doesn't break it. They're usually gotten from kissing."

There was another scribble—where were they getting the pens and paper from?—and Yellow had another note out. "Kissing?"

"It's what two people do when they get intimate with each other. It's usually done with the mouths, but you can kiss other things too, and that's where hickeys come from."

Rodney could feel the squids thinking—it was really odd. Another note came out a few seconds later, this one from Red. "Intimate?"

For the first time in the conversation, Sheppard looked a little uncomfortable. "I can't believe I'm giving the birds and bees talk to squid. And they're not even MY squid. Okay, intimacy is what we call it when two people really, really like each other and want to touch each other all over."

Blue turned the next question to Rodney—in his head. "But we're touching you all over, so is that…intimate?"

"Ah…yes and no. This is different," Rodney answered, feeling his cheeks blush.

Sheppard must have picked up on the question, because he sighed. "There are different kinds of touching. What you're doing is just called affection. You love him, but as a father figure or a friend would love. Intimacy is touching with purpose."

"You're encouraging them, you know that, right?" Rodney asked, pinning Sheppard with a look.

"If they're old enough to ask, they're old enough to hear the answer."

"They're, what? Two months old? No. Not old enough."

"The elders said they return to have baby squid in a year. That means at two months, they're old enough."

"They have ten months to know about touching with intent," Rodney protested, his left hand wrapping around Red.

Sheppard grinned at him. "You realize you're talking like an over-protective mother."

"Shut up."

John's laugh was soft.

"Look," Rodney said with a hiss. "I didn't ask for this to happen and I'm just trying to make the most out of it, okay? Now, I think you should get me dinner." He paused, looking down at the squid. "Do you eat real food?"

"I wasn't mocking you, Rodney…"

John sighed softly as Blue got into Rodney's head again. "Fishies?"

Rodney smirked at Sheppard. "Looks like you're going fishing, Colonel."

Yellow held up another Post-it note and Rodney had to snort in laughter. "Go fish."

John rolled his eyes. "You'll have to wait until Ronon gets back then, because I'm not leaving Rodney alone on the planet. Every time I do that, he gets himself into trouble."

Six more tentacles started waving in Sheppard's face, all with the saying "Go fish" on the Post-It note.

Sheppard crossed his arms. "Not leaving him alone. Period."

Five more tentacles joined in the fray—three per squid.

Rodney had to bite back a laugh at the pinched look on Sheppard's face. "Ronon will be back soon, and then we'll get you fish."

Another four made sixteen.

Sheppard was actually trying to hold his ground. "No."

Twenty. They were running out of tentacles. Rodney was trying very hard not to laugh, but it was getting harder with each passing second.

Sheppard actually moved to try and stand behind Rodney. "No. I can't leave him alone guys."

The words "Not alone!" echoed in Rodney's head as four more tentacles started waving. They were up to twenty-four now. "They claim I'm not alone."

John was actually trying to hide behind Rodney. "You guys don't count. You couldn't protect him if there was a need."

There was a thwap and Rodney turned. Sheppard had a "Go fish" Post-it Note stuck to the front of his forehead. That was it. Rodney burst out laughing.

Sheppard shot a glare at him. "Call off your squid, McKay!"

"Not me! All on their own," he said between breaths.

"But they like you! They'll listen to you!"

"And, apparently, they're hungry."

"You know the rules."

"I'm not going fishing."

"Then they have to wait. We all go, or no one does."

The tentacles waving started again.

Sheppard pointed at Rodney. "If he's willing to walk to the lake, I'll fish for you."

"I'm not fishing."

All the sudden Rodney had the tentacle wave of sticky notes in his own face.

"I'll walk there, but I'm not fishing."

"Deal. I'll fish, but I want you in my sight range at all times."

Rodney gestured to the squids around him. "Do you think I'm going to be out of anyone's sight in the near future?"

"My sight, Rodney. I don't care who else watches, you don't leave my sight."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Fine." As soon as Rodney agreed, the squids turned their "Go fish" Post-It Note tentacles back at Sheppard.

"All right, all right. We'll all go fish."

Rodney had to laugh at the expression on Sheppard's face. If he didn't know any better, he looked a little constipated like a grandparent with no access to prunes.

They probably looked like a parade, with the two of them leading a bunch of bouncy, happy squid waving Post-It notes in the air that all said "Go Fish!"

Too bad no one had a camera.

***

John was exhausted, since the squid weren’t exactly good sleepers, but when they walked through the gate back to Atlantis and he saw Woolsey’s face… John sighed to himself.

“Rodney, report to the infirmary, because you and the squid all need a full diagnostic. I want to make sure there are no surprises. Ronon and Teyla, you can both stand down after the standard infirmary check.”

"I'm not a piece of equipment that needs a diagnostic," McKay said testily. Apparently the squid cuddling John witnessed last night had not been as welcome as it had looked.

"I know that, McKay. But while it doesn't seem that they've hurt you, I want to double check that there's nothing in their chemistry that will conflict with any of your allergies in the future."

"Colonel Sheppard, Doctor McKay," Woolsey said, slowly walking down the gateroom stairs. "What's the meaning of this?"

John waved the rest of his team off and headed toward Woolsey. "If you'd like a full debrief now sir, I'm ready to give you one."

"I want someone to contain those…creatures before they infest Atlantis."

John did his best to herd Woolsey away. "They're sentient, and while they are very gentle, I'm pretty sure you don't want to piss off a bunch of alien squid, especially when it comes to trying to separate them from their bondmate. If you'll join me in the conference room, I'll explain."

Woolsey tapped his radio. "I need a containment team to the gateroom immediately."

John growled. "Woolsey, they aren't animals to be contained. They all need to go to the infirmary while I debrief you."

McKay had been caught before he stepped into the corridor, the Marine on the door gesturing for him to move back to the gateroom. "What's going on, Sheppard?"

John pinched his nose. "Woolsey is concerned about the kids."

"The squid are fine."

"I know they're fine, he's worried we're bringing back something that will attack the city."

"There's nothing wrong with them," McKay said as he stopped next to John, the squid milling all about around him.

"I know there's nothing wrong with them. But they're an unknown factor and Woolsey is concerned."

A containment team rushed in moments later, heading directly for John and McKay, containment cages in hand. McKay started backing up, the squid behind him. "Oh no. Absolutely not."

John put himself between Rodney and the team. "Okay, everyone freeze!" Sometimes it was nice to be the ranking officer on the base. "Woolsey, I understand your concern, but we didn't just spend two days negotiating on the care of these guys so you could tear it all down as soon as we walked through the gate. If you'll come with us to the briefing room, we will fill you in on the details."

"You're not in charge here, Colonel," Woolsey said, gesturing to the containment team. "There are protocols set in place for a reason and we will follow them. By the book."

"Woolsey, it causes them physical pain to be separated for McKay. They are bonded to him. You are the one who sent us on the mission, specifically because you said the squid were asking for their Daddy. You knew this was a possibility, since I wasn't going to leave McKay there."

"So they say—if they can even talk at all."

John glanced at the squid. "Guys, please introduce yourselves to Richard Woolsey."

There was a quick scribble and then Post-it notes were hoisted into the air on tentacles with their names written on each.

"Meet the kids, Woolsey. I made the mistake of calling them by their colors the first time we met, so now they use that as their names."

Yellow peered around from behind McKay's leg, and then ducked back. Another note was hoisted up moments later. "Want McKay."

"Yeah, guys, I know. He's your bondmate." John turned back to a very startled Woolsey. "Teyla can fill you in on the details of what we discovered about them from the planet, but the simple answer is that they're sentient and bond immediately as soon as they hatch. McKay is who they bonded with, and for the next year, until they're ready to go back and spawn, being apart from him for any length of time will be painful for them."

"Painful," Woolsey said, his tone dripping with disbelief.

"Are you going to actually listen, or do I need to pack up my team and go back to the planet so Teyla can negotiate with you for us?"

Woolsey's narrowed and then he gestured the containment team forward. "Please bring the…squid and Doctor McKay to the containment room until we can get this sorted."

John sighed. "Rodney, head on over there and I'll debrief Woolsey. It's probably not a bad idea to let Beckett run a few tests so we'll have a baseline in case any of them need medical care later."

"Sheppard," McKay whined, still eyeing the containment team as if they were the devil incarnate. "They're fine. I'm fine."

"I know, but let's try to play nice. I'll talk fast."

McKay snorted as he was led away, sending pleading and annoyed looks in equal measure over his shoulder.

John sighed and followed Woolsey into the conference room. He was incredibly happy to see Teyla follow behind him. "Before we get started, remember you sent us in and told us to take care of the problem. This is how we took care of it."

"By having Doctor McKay bond with a strange, alien creature? That's not exactly what I had in mind when I asked you to take care of it," Woolsey said, sounding tired and annoyed at the same time.

John dropped into one of the chairs. "The bonding was already done. That's why they called us to come back in the first place. Our only real options here were to bring the squid back and let them live with McKay, or leave McKay on the planet until it's safe to be apart from them. I made the best decision possible given the circumstances."

"Leaving Doctor McKay behind was not an option," said Teyla, Ronon hovering menacingly behind her.

John nodded. "So we brought him and the squid home. They are sentient, and they communicate with post-it notes. Where they're getting them, I have no idea. That's not a question I plan to ask."

"How did this happen?"

"Remember the last mission we had there?" John sighed. "McKay fell in the river and I had to pull the little things off him. He spent 24 hours in the infirmary under observation just in case. Well, these are the same creatures just grown a bit, and apparently when they stuck to him the first time, that was when they bonded with him."

"You mentioned the…incident with the river, but not the squid bonding."

John shrugged. "At the time, I didn't know they were bonding. I just knew there were squid on him."

"So what do you intend to do about ridding Doctor McKay of this particular infestation?"

John glanced over at Teyla, hoping she would jump in. She had talked to the village elders more than he had about the problem.

"I have been told that this is a great honor," Teyla began, only to be cut off by Woolsey.

"Everyone always says it's an honor. That's not what I asked."

Teyla's face scrunched a little, her tone edging toward icy. "It is an honor," she repeated, "and the elders do not view it as a burden. It is a great honor to take care of these creatures and one that should not be taken lightly. If we were to injure them…" She shook her head. "I do not know if we would be welcome there, or on many other planets."

John nodded. "They aren't hurting him, and, frankly, going through with it will not only help our relations here, but with a lot of other planets who revere these guys too."

"We just…" Woolsey started, breaking off as he got his thoughts together. "This cannot become a regular thing."

John snorted. "Trust me, I have no plans to pick up any more sentient squid."

"And yet I've seen a disturbing amount of missions where you have been married or bonded with various people and…animals. I believe I recall a goat."

John felt himself blush. "It's not my fault this galaxy has some really weird ideas about trust ceremonies. No offense, Teyla."

"None taken, John," she said with a small smile. "These ceremonies are important to a great many people and have helped us with treaties and supplies throughout the years before contact was re-established with your home world."

Woolsey sighed and finally let them leave, and John didn't hesitate to take off. He headed for the containment area and dismissed the guards. "I'm here to spring you and the squid, McKay."

The scientist looked miserable. He was sitting on a gurney and had been liberated of his off-world clothes and given a pair of bright orange scrubs. "Apparently I've been sentenced to a twenty-four observation," he said pointing to the upper level where Keller was taking notes on her computer.

John sighed, but hopped up on the bed next to him. "Did she say why?"

"Regulations. And you shouldn't be in here."

John shrugged. "I guess I'll just have to keep you company. I was right there with the squid almost as much as you were. If you're infected, then so am I."

"I have so much I should be doing, but I'm not allowed to do anything. It's not like I turned into a bug or anything."

Despite himself, John shivered. "Let's not mention that, okay? And count yourself lucky. Teyla and I had to do some fast talking to convince Woolsey this was a good idea."

"I still don't think it's a good idea, but Larry, Curly, and Moe keep telling me it is—in my head," he said, adding the last bit in a hushed whisper. "I think that's why Keller's panties are in a knot."

John couldn't stop the snort of a laugh that snuck out. "Larry, Curly and Moe?"

McKay shrugged. "It's better than your…bastardized CMYK chart."

"If you tell me the fourth is Shemp, I might have to hurt you."

"Well, you are always in black, but no."

"Thank god. I'm not sure how I'd feel about sharing a name with a squid, even if he was the fourth stooge."

McKay rolled his eyes as Purple edged its way around him, heading toward John. "I think they were traumatized. Keller wanted to know where the Post-It note paper was coming from."

With a sigh, John held out a hand and let Purple climb up on him. "Sorry about that, guys. Unfortunately, we have to follow these rules to make sure everyone stays healthy in the city. It won't be long before McKay and I will take you on a tour."

"So I guess there's not much more to do except sit here and wait."

"Pretty much." With a shrug, John swiveled around to lay back on the bed, kicking his feet up. "1225789."

"Oh, we are so not doing that. Not prime."

"What else have you got to do? If you won't play, maybe the squid will. Do you guys play Prime/Not Prime?"

Quickly four Post-it notes popped up from all around McKay, a big, bold "No!" written on each one.

John sighed. "You told them to say that, didn't you McKay? I'm outnumbered now."

McKay snorted. "As if. They do their own thing."

"We're going to have to figure out what to do for missions. I don't want to stand you down from them, but at the same time, the squid can't come with us off-world. Maybe to places we've been, but first contact missions are dicey enough. We don't need to have four more people to keep safe and worry about."

"Yeah. I was thinking about that before," McKay said quietly. "It looks like you'll get to break Radek in—as long as you don't actually break him in the process. He usually knows what he's doing."

"I don't want Radek. He's good, but he's not you."

"You don't have a choice," McKay said, the words sharp. "Neither of us have a choice. I didn't have a choice with the damn squid. We just have to live with it."

"Then we'll go as a three-person team until the squid can be left here for a few hours. I'll put Lorne on most of the first contact missions, so we'll only go out when it's absolutely necessary until then."

"Take Radek. He needs the experience."

"Radek would be slaughtered out there. He's good at the science thing, but at the first gunshot he would either be dead, or I would be trying to get him home."

"I know what my people can and cannot do," McKay said sharply. "Are you telling me you don't trust my judgment?"

John sighed again. "I trust your judgment, McKay. He's brilliant, and as your second in command, I think you made the perfect choice. But I've been in the field for a long time. Trust my judgment when it comes to knowing who is a liability in a combat situation and who isn't."

"Then you need to train him better. You took a chance with me and I knew less than he does about staying alive in a battle zone."

"I knew from the first time I met you that I wanted you on my off-world team."

"You need a scientist. He's the best I have to give you."

"I don't need a scientist. I need you." John felt a bit of a flush starting and ruthlessly suppressed it, hoping Rodney wouldn't notice.

"Well, I'm off the off-world circuit for a year. You'll just have to deal with it. Just because you want something, doesn't mean you get it." He slid off the gurney and headed for the intercom next to the door. "Jennifer, can you get another bed in here. Sheppard took mine."

John wasn't willing to accept that. But since he didn't know what else to do right now, he wisely kept quiet.

***

**Six Weeks Later**

Rodney McKay stomped into the control room on the way to Woolsey's office, his four rapidly growing squid…things nipping at his heels. They were always around. Getting into things, under things, on top of things, behind things, sticking their tentacles where they didn't belong.

He'd had to go to the infirmary no less than four times a day—one time for each squid—and sometimes a lot more.

They were children and wanted to learn to explore. He was a very busy CSO with very important adult things he had to do. They didn't understand.

Thankfully, over the course of six weeks, they were starting to get the picture. But it also meant that he never really got to work a full day in the lab anymore. He was too busy trying to keep up with four squid.

He watched A-1 go out on mission after mission, Radek taking his place as the scientist on the team, and getting into the usual trouble and having more than the usual percentage of non-threatening, productive missions. Radek hadn't even had to sit through one harvest festival yet and on many worlds harvest time was in full swing.

Rodney was convinced: the universe hated him.

Today, though, he wasn't pissed off about his mission status. No. He had much more important things to complain about.

"Woolsey," Rodney said without preamble as he stormed into the man's office, disturbing his morning tea ritual. "I've had enough."

Woolsey sat back in his chair and eyed him—and the squid who were never far away. "Yes, Doctor McKay?"

"I need bigger quarters."

Woolsey's eyebrow went up. "You, better than anyone, know why we have not opened up any additional areas for living quarters."

"There are five of us now in a very small space. We have plenty of room. Send Lorne looking. I've already marked off a few sections," he said, stepping forward to show Woolsey his tablet.

"To do it for you would then create a deluge of people who would want to be moved, creating power grid problems. I'm afraid I can't approve this, Doctor."

"This is a unique situation which isn't going to change for the next year. I can and will appeal to the IOA and I don't think any of us want that to happen."

Woolsey leaned forward and tented his hands. "I'm sure we can find an alternate solution that won't require us to drain more power than is strictly necessary. Something you, yourself, have impressed on me on many occasions."

"Opening up a section isn't going to drain the ZPMs. We can handle it. Hell, we can handle an entire new tower if we wanted."

With a put-upon sigh, Woolsey leaned back. "If you can provide me with a report showing where we'll make up for the additional power to more living quarters from other areas, I'll consider it."

Rodney poked at his tablet for a few sections, his fingers flying over the screen. "You have the information in your inbox. I'll be moving before the end of the day."

"Not so fast, Doctor McKay." Woolsey frowned. "I'll need some time to go over these figures and decide which section to open up for living space. Then—if I decide to allow it—we'll need to have Colonel Sheppard send a team to ensure that area is safe."

"Lorne is already suited up and ready to go. Sheppard's team is still off-world. And this wasn't a conversation. I'm moving before the end of the day," Rodney said, his voice hard. "I know you don't like me, but this is something I’m not going to back down on and I will go over your head—which neither of us wants. It's within guidelines and it's more than reasonable."

"I'm not trying to be unreasonable, Doctor McKay. But this falls under the heading of running the city, which is under my job description—not yours. I am more than willing to consider your request, but I won't be bullied by you."

"And I'm telling you that I am moving—and actually, I have already moved most of my belongings. I just need you to rubber stamp it to make it official."

"Doctor McKay, I don't appreciate you trying to go over my head. I don't hate you, as you said earlier, but I do take exception to anyone who tries to belittle my authority. If you would like to come back at another time to discuss this when you aren't feeling so… combative, I would be more than happy to look at all the options."

"You haven't listened to anything I've had to say since you arrived—and since I have the squid…even less. I'll let Lorne know he can do his sweep," Rodney said, turning to leave.

"No, Doctor McKay, you will not." Woolsey stood up. "I will not have you go above my head in what is essentially mutiny. You can either respect my position and authority, or I can make arrangements for you to return to Earth at the next available opportunity. This city cannot function correctly if there is no recognized and followed chain of authority."

"I'm sure sending me back to Earth will go over well with our allies. It seems like word has gotten out that I've been chosen to foster the squid—which is why Sheppard's team hasn't been in as much trouble as usual. See how well that goes," Rodney said. He was so tired of being nice.

"I will do whatever is necessary to protect this city, Doctor McKay. You might not believe it, but I care as much as you do. And I can see how this attitude of yours is hurting it. You might not like having your… squid… but to take out that frustration on me and the city in general is not going to help matters."

"No, you don't," Rodney said with a sigh. "All you care about is the rules and regulations. That's not what works out here."

"I have a healthy respect for rules, yes. But I do care about this city, Doctor McKay. My methods might not be yours, but that does not invalidate them."

"Anything else?" Rodney asked, narrowing his eyes. "The squid are hungry and honestly don't like the…vibes they're getting from you."

"No, not right now. I will look at your reports, and I'll let you know by the end of the day if you have the approval to open up the new sector you are asking for."

"Fine," Rodney said, knowing that he'd be in his new room tonight whether or not he got the all clear from Woolsey. He turned on his heel and left, the squids trailing behind.

"Swim?" The request popped into his head.

Rodney shook his head. "Not now. I have work to do."

"Swim!" It came from several directions this time.

"We just got up. I haven't even had coffee yet. No." He stepped into the transporter and even before he could hit the button for the lab, Purple had poked the spot for the Pier where they'd been swimming on and off.

"Swim!" The whole group went racing to jump into the water.

"Guys, come on," Rodney said with a sigh. "I don’t have time for this."

"Short swim. We promise." They all jumped into the water.

"Don't have time for this," he muttered, sitting down on the edge of the pier.

The squid frolicked for a while, then climbed out and cuddled up to him. "Thank you, Daddy."

"Yes, yes. I know you need your time in the water and I’m glad you learned not to pull me and my valuable equipment in with you." That had been a nightmare and they'd apologized for a week.

He got a series of happy bursts, and Red held up a note that they should go get coffee now.

Rodney rubbed his chest absently as he rose to his feet. The emotion bursts always got him in a weird way. "Yes, coffee would be a fine idea and then we can figure out if biology has actually made you something else to eat."

"Yay!" they raced ahead to the transporter, all four waiting for him when he got there.

"Go ahead," he said, gesturing toward Red. It was his turn.

Red pressed the button, and a minute later they were all trooping into the mess hall.

It went smoothly, the staff used to the parade by now. While the squid wandered off to get the things Rodney wanted to eat, Rodney headed to grab himself coffee. They reconvened a few minutes later to head to the science section, each squid clutching one part of Rodney's meal in a tentacle. Thankfully there was no fighting today.

He had managed to set up a sort of routine that he had found would work for the mornings at least, so he was in the middle of getting a few things done when suddenly Sheppard was there. "Hey, we just got back. How are you guys doing?"

Rodney barely looked up. "Fine. Busy. Working. You apparently survived."

A square of something appeared in his line of vision. "We traded for something that's so much like chocolate I can't tell the difference. I brought you back some."

"Chocolate?" Oddly enough, since the squid had arrived, his sweet tooth had faded. He vaguely worried that it might be related, but he had no time to dwell on it. Rodney glanced up, squinting at Sheppard. "How about my scientist? Did you bring him back, too?"

"He's in the shower. He fell in a completely ordinary mud puddle and got covered head to toe in the stuff. I have never heard so many curse words in so many languages all at one time."

"Oh, he's good at that," Rodney nodded. "Thanks for the chocolate. I'll save it for when I need a pick-me-up."

Sheppard leaned against the table. "Why don't we do a movie night tonight? You can pick the film."

"You know the squid don't like television."

"Well, they can come, but I was inviting you because I know you do like it." John gave him a small smile. "Parents are allowed to do things they enjoy. Teyla even said she would stay with them for a little while in your quarters to give you a night off."

"We both know how well that works," Rodney said with a scowl. The last time he tried to sneak away somewhere, the squid had howled and screamed in his head until he walked back to where he'd left them.

"Last time you tried to leave without telling them. This time, we're setting it up in advance, leaving them with a squid sitter they love, and telling them exactly when you'll be home."

"Maybe. I just got here a little while ago."

"Let me know. I was thinking tonight after dinner. They're always more tired at night anyway, we can all have a big meal, and then they can go home to bed with Teyla and you can come watch a movie."

"Sure sure," Rodney said waving him off. "Let me get back to these equations before the city blows up or something."

John smiled at him again. "I'll catch you later. Behave, squid, and don't give him a hard time."

Four tentacles went up. "We" "Don’t" "Do" "That".

John snorted, then glanced back at Rodney. "How about I take you guys down to the Pier for a little while so he can concentrate. I'll bring you back when you're ready."

Four more tentacles. "We" Were" "There" "Before"

"So? Who says you can only swim once a day?"

"Wanna" "Stay" "With" "Dad"

John smiled at them. "I know you do, but you want him to be able to work too, right? Come with me for an hour to give him a break."

"We'll" "Be" "Quiet" "!"

John sighed. "I tried, buddy. I'll see you guys later."

"It's fine. I'm getting used to it," Rodney said with a tired smile. "If you see Radek, tell him to get his butt down here ASAP."

"I will. See you later, McKay."

"Thanks, Sheppard," he said, immediately going back to work.

He got the power fluctuations fixed by the end of the week, spent an inordinate amount of time in and around water, moved to his new quarters—with Woolsey's permission—and decided that sleeping with four squid wasn't as bad as he first thought.

He only wished they had fur.

***

John paced his room. It had been two months. Two months since Rodney came home with the squid. Two months since he had to take a leave of absence from the team.

Two months since he had been able to really hang out.

It was killing him.

The city was running better than it had in 10,000 years. Radek was, surprisingly, not as bad with a gun as John had feared. McKay and his squid had found a routine that worked, and he was settling in.

Even Teyla and Ronon had started taking the squid swimming once a week to give Rodney a break. The squid had finally gotten to a point where they would allow him to be out of their sight, even if it was only for short periods.

John seemed to be the only one who was still pissed about the whole thing.

His door chime rang and John scowled at the closed door.

He debated ignoring it since an emergency would have whoever it was calling his radio, but he finally sighed and told the door to open.

Ronon loomed just outside. "Wanna run?"

He shook his head. "No thanks, buddy. I'm not in the mood to get my ass handed to me today."

"Need to do something."

"You can probably find some Marines in the gym if you're looking for a workout."

"No." He narrowed his eyes at John. "Should I get Teyla?"

John blinked at him. "Why? What's wrong?"

"You."

"Me?" John instinctively looked down at himself then back up. "What's wrong with me?"

"Sulking. Moody. You don't like Zelenka."

"I like Zelenka just fine."

Ronon nodded, shifting on his feet. "I should get Teyla."

John rolled his eyes. "I'm fine, Ronon. Don't bother her. Go have fun with the Marines."

"I finished with them earlier. Came looking for you."

John gave him a small smile. "I appreciate the concern, but I'm fine."

"No, you're not. Not since the squid."

"I'm just upset that my team was broken over it. I like the squid fine, and Radek is learning. I'm just adjusting."

"Zelenka's better than McKay with some things."

John didn't want to talk about it, but he was pretty sure growling at his teammate wouldn't help the "all's well" image he was trying to project. "And in some ways he's worse. They're just different people."

"Everyone's different. Shouldn't be a surprise to you."

Despite himself, John huffed. "It's not, and I don't hate Radek. He's fine, I'm fine, can we just drop this now?"

"You have a problem. If you have a problem, the team has a problem."

"I don't have a problem. I really don't. I'm just tired and I don't want to run tonight."

"Fine." Ronon turned on his heel and loped off without another word, the door closing silently a few seconds later.

Great. John sighed and dropped down onto his bed. Now Ronon was pissed at him and John still wasn't sure why he thought there was a problem. There wasn't. Really.

Less than a minute passed before his radio chirped in his ear.

He hit it, already dreading what the emergency would be this time. "Sheppard here."

"Sheppard, hi," McKay said, sounding a bit uncertain. "Ah…I was wondering if you wanted to play some chess. The squid are tired and aren't up for much, but I'm still a bit wired and I don't feel like working tonight…"

"Your place or mine?" John felt better already. See, nothing wrong.

"Ahh…here would be better. You know with the squid and all."

"I'm on my way. I'll bring the board."

"Oh, ah. Great. I'll be here."

John grabbed his board and was out the door before the squid could start doing something that would make him call it off. He was at Rodney's door ringing the bell minutes later.

And no one answered.

"Rodney?"

He rang the chime a few more times and banged on the door, but no one came.

Finally, he tapped his radio. "McKay."

He answered a few beats later. "I thought you were coming over."

"I'm standing outside your door and you aren't answering."

"My door is open and I'm standing it in and you're not here. Where are you?"

"I'm standing in front of your door and you you're not here."

"I am so. I know where I live."

John used his connection with the city to open the door. And the room was completely empty. He immediately started to quietly panic. "Rodney. I think I have a problem. Maybe I somehow fell into an alternate universe, but the radio still works? I didn't touch anything, but weirder things have happened."

McKay sighed loudly in his ear. "You are not in an alternate universe." He paused for a moment and then asked a little more quietly. "What tower are you in?"

"What do you mean what tower am I in? I'm standing in your room, and it's empty. Nothing. Nada. Zip. So either I'm in a fucking alternate universe and you need to figure out how to get me back, or… or I don't know."

"Ah…right. Go down the hall and take the elevator to tower two, sixth level."

"Why the hell would I go there? It's an empty tower."

"The fifth and sixth levels aren't. Just…trust me."

John had been trusting McKay for a while, so he was already heading that direction. "I'm on my way now."

"Good. Blue said he'd wait for you by the transporter. Just follow him."

John blinked. "O…kay." John stepped out of the transporter, and sure enough, Blue was waiting there. "Hey, buddy. Apparently you guys moved and no one bothered to tell me."

A note quickly appeared. "Needed room."

John sighed, following him down the hall. "Yeah, but I would have helped you guys move."

"Mission." The next note read, waved at him as the nearest door slid open.

John sighed again. He hated this. He stepped in and looked around. "Nice new digs."

"Thanks," McKay said with a smile as he stepped into the small but well-appointed sitting room. John could see two doors leading off the main room and peering through one spotted a rather large bed. "With them growing, I needed more room."

"Understandable. I just… didn't know you were looking to move, much less that you had moved. Took me by surprise."

"I..ah…sorry. I thought you knew. Teyla and Ronon were by a few times already. I just figured you were busy—you know with military command stuff."

"No. I didn't know. I would have helped you move if I did." John shrugged. "So I brought the chess set."

"Oh, yes, right. Chess. You can set it up on the table. Want a beer?"

John made a face. "Yes, but I shouldn't. Last time I had one, I was drunk before it was halfway gone."

McKay snorted. "That was a long time ago. I’m sure your tolerance is fine," he said, moving to a sideboard that held a small warming plate, an Ancient fridge and a coffeemaker.

"Yeah, and it's not like I've been drinking all that much lately to build it back up. My tolerance was shit to begin with, anyway. I was always a cheap date. If you have any decent coffee though, I'll take that."

"I can make a pot, but it'll take a few minutes," he said, already moving to set up the new pot of coffee. "I have some snacks I've grabbed from the mess, too."

"Thanks. I've only been getting the shitty stuff in the mess lately." John set up the chess board while they talked. "How have things been in the labs?"

"Good overall. We haven't had a near accident in about two weeks, so it's been nice. The new protocols are working well."

Zelenka had mentioned those, so John nodded. "Always good. It's frustrating when our injury counts are as high on the city as off-world."

"Exactly. And if we can get these protocols down—even more so than before—it will help to entice other scientists to think seriously about joining."

Nodding, John focused on the pieces. He was worried that, once the squid were gone, with all the new protocols in place and McKay getting to be the King Geek full time, he wouldn't want to come back to the team. But for now, John shuttered that. "Do you think the SGC will let you increase your staff numbers?"

"I do. We need to. There's so much we can learn out here and if we can get it to be a safer place for scientists to work in, I think a lot of people would jump at the chance to work here."

"Pegasus will never really be a safe place as long as the Wraith are out there, but yeah, if we can cut down on stupid mistakes here at home, it would be a good thing."

McKay brought a plate of finger foods—mainly sweets to the table before heading back to the coffee pot. He pulled two mugs down from the cabinet overhead. "After the first week of no accidents passed, we got a lot more buy-in from the morons."

Chuckling, John leaned back, avoiding the sweets. For some reason, he hadn't been all that hungry lately. "Yeah, they don't like change, but at least the scientist parts come out when they can see an experiment working."

"Apparently it takes a lot of convincing for some," McKay said, rolling his eyes. "Try the little cakes. You'll like them."

"Well, you do constantly say the SGC sends you the rejects." John laughed. He didn't want to piss Rodney off, so he took a little cake and set it aside.

"Yeah, yeah. They usually do, but I have my eyes on some new recruits and they're worried more about their skin than the thrill of discovery. If I can fix the safety and security issues, then I can get some really qualified scientists."

"Are you looking to recruit outside the program? Or from within the SGC?"

"Both, actually."

"Good." John made the first chess move. "We need some new blood. Everyone in the program is brilliant, but even geniuses can get stuck in ruts. Having new perspectives would probably kick-start all the projects again."

"We honestly need some scientists in specific fields. We're not far enough along in some places."

"I think when we first started recruiting for the program, and then came to Atlantis, there was an emphasis on certain areas. I agree though, we could use a more well-rounded bunch."

"Yes, yes," McKay said as he wandered over, squinting at the board before making a quick move. "I'm trying to get some more practical disciplines, as well. It's hard to find a good electrician in the middle of fifteen physicists."

"Not a bad idea. If we could get some basic maintenance people out here, then you could get that off your plate for the most part. We could form a team with plumbers, electricians, engineers, etc. who would be in charge of seeing to the routine stuff." John moved another piece.

"That's the plan," McKay said with a nod as he moved to check the pot again. "Milk? Sugar?"

"I'll take it black. Thanks."

McKay shot him a look. "You're drinking it black again?"

John shrugged. "Yes, why?"

"You haven't done that in…well, a while." McKay walked over, handing John the mug. He scowled and looked over his shoulder toward the bedroom. "I'll be right back."

"Thanks. And okay. Something wrong?"

He pointed to his head. "Squid arguing. Give me a minute."

John watched him walk away, and sighed softly. He missed just being able to hang out. He downed his coffee, and got up to refill the cup while he waited.

"…went through this last night. It's Red's turn and that's final. Do I need to make a spreadsheet?

Rolling his eyes, John popped his head into the room. "What are they arguing about?"

McKay was standing in the middle of his huge bedroom, his hands on his hips. The four squid—and when did they grow to be larger than a dog?—were clustered in front of him. "They…help out with the chores and argue every night about whose turn it is."

"Are they arguing about who gets to do them, or who has to do them?"

McKay's cheeks actually pinked up. "They…like helping out. A little bit too much at times. So we set up a schedule of who does what and it's Red's turn for the nightly chores before they go to bed—which was supposed to happen fifteen minutes ago."

"Why don't you just assign one chore to each of them to do every night. Then they don't have to fight over it."

"Yeah…" McKay sighed. "That didn't work so well. Tentacles."

John shook his head. "Well, most parents have to fight the kids to do the chores at all, so I guess this is slightly better version."

"I guess," McKay said with a shrug. "Now, I'm not going to repeat this again. Let Red work and the rest of you need to be in bed. Don't make me come in here again."

Hiding a smile behind his cup, John drained it again and got another refill before sitting back down.

Yellow wandered out of the bedroom a few moments later, hoisting a bag of Cheetos in one tentacle, a note in the other. "For you."

"For me?" John took the bag. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed, little guy?"

Another note appeared. "Too skinny. Eat."

"Yellow! Get in here," McKay called out, the squid jumping to obey.

John smiled and called after him. "Thanks, Yellow!"

McKay appeared a few minutes later after John had munched on a couple of the bright orange cheese puffs. "Oh," he said stopping. "Where did you get those from? They were for later."

Chuckling, John handed the bag over. "Yellow came and gave them to me, and told me I was too skinny."

McKay's cheeks pinked up again even as he waved off the bag, making John take it back. "Yes, well, it's obvious just from looking at you that you need to put some weight on. I don't know how those pants are actually capable of staying on your hips."

John rolled his eyes. "It's not my fault I have a fast metabolism."

"You need to eat in order to have a metabolism."

"I eat when I'm hungry."

"Which is never these days."

John raised an eyebrow. "Why do you think that? I eat." John knew he hadn't been as hungry lately, but he was pretty sure he would have noticed if he stopped eating.

"No, you don't. At least that's what Lorne, Parrish, Ronon, Radek, and Teyla have been telling me."

John let out a breath. "Why does everyone keep trying to tell me something is wrong? I'm fine, damn it!" He took a deep breath. "I have no idea why they don't think I am, and they are driving me crazy with this shit."

"Because you're ill-tempered, moody, and you've dropped twenty pounds. Even I can tell and I never see you in the labs anymore."

"I haven't lost twenty pounds, and I'm moody because the SGC keeps finding new and torturous ways to make me do paperwork."

McKay scowled at him. "You're temperamental and if I drag you down to the infirmary and put you on the scale it'll tell you the same thing we're seeing. You've had to tighten your belt, what, two holes already?"

John flushed despite himself. "What difference does it make? I just haven't been hungry lately, and I've been busy. The SGC sent over a new batch of Marines on the last run who I swear have no gate experience at all. They're a constant headache."

"I don't want to get the new base head shrinker involved, but I will if I have to."

John rolled his eyes. "I'm fine. Seriously. Why do people keep threatening to sic other people on me? I'm fine."

"Because we're worried about you."

He shook his head. "You don't need to be. I'm fine. Nothing is wrong." He sighed as his radio chirped at him. He was off-duty, so that was never good. "Sheppard here."

"Sorry to bother you, sir," Lorne said. "There's been an incident in the mess hall and you should probably come down here and take care of it."

John sighed. "I'm on my way." He gave McKay a tired smile. "Apparently the men are fighting in the mess and need me to go break heads to break it up. Maybe we can try this again when I get back from the mission tomorrow night?"

"Sure," McKay said, his voice tight.

"I swear, if the SGC doesn't stop sending me idiots, I might just defect to the science team." John stood up and handed over the bag of Cheetos. "We'll share them tomorrow. And really, I appreciate the concern, but I am fine. I don't know why everyone thinks I'm not, but I am."

McKay just shook his head, clutching the bag of Cheetos to his chest.

John headed downstairs and it took him almost two hours to sort out what was going on, then another hour to write it all up and put in the orders for discipline. By the time he fell into bed, it was really late.

The next morning, he suited up early and headed out with his team to contact the latest potential trade partners, doing his best to ignore all of their looks, and be as cheerful as possible.

Of course, everything had to go pear-shaped. They had been having such good luck lately, too.

As he was being hauled back to the gate, gunfire all around him, he reflected that charging in shooting was probably not the best game plan after all. They hadn’t been very surprised, and this fucking hurt. That was his last thought before blessed darkness, and then he didn’t have to worry anymore.

***

Consciousness came back slowly. Unfortunately, pain chose to take the express route. With a groan, John tried to remember what had happened to land him in the infirmary this time, which, judging by the smell and the regular beeping noises, was where he was currently resting.

"You are an idiot, you know that?"

John winced and cracked an eye to see McKay standing above him. "Hey. What happened?"

"You happened, that's what happened. You and your damn suicidal tendencies."

John frowned and tried to sit up a little, wincing when that proved to be way too painful. "I don't have suicidal tendencies. I remember the mission, then… okay, the natives started shooting. And oh. Yeah. I was shot. A few times? Huh."

McKay looked angry—furious, actually. "Yes, they started shooting. If it wasn't for Radek's quick thinking—and quick shooting—you would have gotten a bullet in your head."

John was pretty sure he would blush if he had enough blood left. "I remember thinking there was a lull, and maybe I could get in closer to take them out while they reloaded."

"What the hell is going on in that head of yours?"

John ignored the question. "Is everyone else okay? How long have I been out, anyway?"

"Three days."

"Ouch." John winced. He hated losing days like that, and if he had been out that long, it had probably been bad. No wonder he felt so shitty. And why Rodney was so pissed. "Um, sorry I got shot?"

"And don't think you're getting out of here anytime soon. Keller took one look at you and already has you scheduled for so many tests you'll wish you studied harder."

"Tests? For what? I mean, I know I'll have to wait until I start to heal a bit more, but what tests does she want to run?"

McKay just started at him for a long moment before shaking his head. "I just…I can't have this conversation with you right now." He turned on his heel and headed out the door.

John blinked. He had no idea what had just happened. With a sigh, he tried to move to get more comfortable, letting out an involuntary moan when something pulled in his side. "Okay, not doing that again."

Jennifer Keller bustled in a few moments later, a frown on her face. "Rodney just told me you were awake. How are you feeling?"

"Like I was shot a few times." He gave her a weak grin.

"Yes, that much is true. Are you uncomfortable?" She started checking the monitors, making notes in his chart.

"It hurts pretty much everywhere, and when I try to move, it really hurts, but other than that, it's fine I guess."

"Okay," she said with a nod. "We'll bump up those meds a bit."

"That's all right. I can live with it." John gave a small shrug. He hated being medicated—pain was preferable. How is everyone else? Were there any other injuries?"

"No, you can't," she said breezily, offering a tight smile. "You were the only one injured and we're going to make sure you're back on your feet as quickly as possible."

"Keller, you know how much I hate that fuzzy feeling medication gives me. I know I need some, but I'd honestly rather have a little pain than that. How long do you think it will be until I can be released?"

"The last time I checked, I had the medical degree, so I'll be prescribing what I think you need," she said. She patted his arm. "Just rest and mend. We'll take care of everything else."

He made a face, but he could already feel whatever she had given him starting to run through his veins. "Hate not being able to think."

"Well, you should be used to the feeling."

"Huh?" John tried to shake his head, to make the cobwebs starting to creep in go away. "What do you mean?"

"From the looks of you, you haven't been thinking about anything—let alone taking care of yourself, but we'll get it all straightened out before you leave."

"Yes, I have. M'fine."

"Not fine, but we'll get it straightened out. Rest." She walked out before John could reply.

He frowned. He was fine. Well, he had a few new scars, and his head was fuzzy, but he didn't think that was what she meant.

When he came to next, one of the squids—Yellow—was cuddled up on the bed with him, a tentacle stroking his arm as it crooned quietly.

It took a few tries, but he was finally able to get his voice to work. "Hey, buddy. How are you guys doing?"

Yellow shifted, tentacles tightening down to hold John more securely. He felt the barest touch against his temple and then heard words in his head. "Don't die. Makes daddy sad."

John swallowed. They had never talked to him this way, although he knew they did with Rodney. "I'm not gonna die, I promise. In a few days, I'll be out of here and all better."

"Suicidal. Makes dad worry."

John made a face. "I'm not suicidal. I promise. I don't want to die, and the last thing I want his for your daddy to be sad."

Yellow crooned out loud, the sound painful and deep.

It made John's heart hurt, so he hugged the squid close. "I promise, I don't want to make your daddy sad. It hurts me to know I made him worry."

Yellow started stroking John's arm again.

John relaxed back into the bed, aware that his injuries were aching from where he had curled around Yellow a bit. Christ. Maybe something was wrong with him if he even had the squid upset.

Keller appeared at some point later on, checking his chart, silently going over what she saw there.

Yellow was still curled in John's arms, so he looked up at her. "I fucked up, didn't I?"

"With what specifically?" she asked quietly.

"Everything." John sighed. "I still don't know why, either. Maybe I have been a bit more reckless lately, I can admit that, but I honestly don't have a death wish."

"Could have fooled me."

"I'll do better."

She glanced at Yellow who was curled around him. "Guilt does wonders, but it really doesn't change anything, does it?"

"What do you mean?"

"People get upset, you say you'll change, do things differently, but you really won't, will you?"

"I don't know what everyone wants from me, to be honest. I can't stop doing my job. I can't promise I won't jump in front of a bullet to save someone else. All I can do is promise to be more careful."

Keller nodded, jotting something into his chart. "Are you hungry?"

He wondered what she was writing down, but he was suddenly tired. "Not really. I think I'll try to nap again, if that's okay."

"Yes, of course."

John closed his eyes and let himself drift. He didn't know how long he had been out when voices pulled him back to the surface again.

"What are you doing here? I looked all over for you and you didn't answer me when I called for you."

"Mmmm?" John blinked his eyes open. "R'dney?"

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," McKay said even as he tried to man-handle Yellow off of the bed. "I've been searching high and low for Yellow and I found him here."

"Been with me for a while. He was upset that I upset you. Wanted to make me promise not to make you sad anymore."

"Yes, well, it would be a waste of a halfway decent brain if you got it splattered all over the landscape."

John sighed. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry I worried you. I… don't know why I've been pushing myself so hard in the field lately. But I will try to be more careful."

"You always say that and then all I get is a 'So long, Rodney," McKay muttered, finally getting Yellow off the bed. "You need your rest so I'll put Yellow to bed where she belongs."

John reached out and caught McKay by the wrist. "I do it to protect you. I… if something happened to you, I would never forgive myself. If that means giving up my life to keep you safe, then I won't promise I won't do it."

McKay managed to pull his wrist away from John. He frowned down at him "And I can't stand watching you kill yourself a piece at a time, so excuse me for being upset by it. Come on, Yellow. Let's leave Colonel Sheppard to get his rest."

Before John could reply, McKay was gone, a lone note from Yellow fluttering to the floor.

"Sorry."

Something inside John broke a little. He debated getting out of bed to get the note. At least it would be something to keep him company.

The next time he woke someone was sitting in the visitor chair watching over him.

He tried to sit up, letting out a small noise as pain lanced through him.

Hands were on him moments later, soothing him. Perfume washed over him a moment later, easily identifying Teyla. "Shhh, John. You must not move. You need to rest."

It took him a few minutes to catch his breath again. "Ow. That really hurts."

"Yes, you were injured quite severely and Jennifer has only now begun to wean you off of the pain medications."

He frowned. "How long have I been here? I thought she just started me on the pain meds this morning."

"It has been over a week, John," Teyla said quietly, brushing back the hair from his forehead. "We are all quite worried about you."

"A…" He felt his eyes go wide. "But… Rodney said I had only been out three days. That was this morning… wasn't it?"

"Some of your wounds were infected and you have been in and out—as Jennifer explains it. I am glad to see that you are back with us once again."

"Christ. The last thing I remember is Yellow in bed with me, and Rodney coming to take him away and being pissed at me."

"I am glad you are starting to feel better. Jennifer said the new medications were finally working.'

John had to swallow a few times, closing his eyes against everything. It was too much.

"Do you need the doctor?"

"No, I'll be fine. It's just… I don't even know why I really did it. I'm sorry."

"You are sick, John. We understand."

"But I wouldn't be if I hadn't decided to go run through a storm of bullets for no good goddamned reason."

She patted his arm. "Jennifer explained what happened, John. You have no reason to hide from us any longer."

He blinked. "What? I… what did she tell you? What am I hiding?"

"Shhh. It will be okay. Just rest. We will be here with you."

"But, I don't get it..."

"It does not matter. You are getting better, John. That is all that matters—that and that you are still with us." Teyla smiled softly at him.

He made a face. "Why do I get the feeling everyone else knows something I don't?"

"Rest, John. Ronon will sit with you tonight to make sure you're not alone."

John sighed but laid back and let her fuss. He knew if Teyla didn't want to tell him something, she wouldn't. "How are Rodney and the squid?"

"They are well. I believe they have finally stopped growing—which is a good thing, according to the biologists."

"Good. Yellow was as big as a dog when he was in here before."

"I was told that should be as large as they should grow. I know Rodney is happy. He was worried he would be smothered by them in the middle of the night."

"They are cuddlers." He smiled. It had been nice to have someone curled up in bed with him, even it was a squid who was upset that he was in the infirmary. A guy took what he could get.

"It is interesting how they are each getting a distinct personality," Teyla said with a smile. "Blue is quite the adventurous one. He also insists on helping at every opportunity. Rodney had been able to have him help out one of the repair crews."

Wow, a lot had changed in a week. "Red still doing the chores?"

"Yes," she said, laughing. "And insisting on it."

He shook his head. "What about Yellow and Purple? What are their specialties, other than Yellow curling up in bed with me and driving Rodney crazy looking for her?"

"Purple is still very quiet, contemplative. Yellow only wishes to make people happy."

He smiled, then got a little more serious. "Is he still pissed at me? Rodney, I mean."

"I do not know," she said, tilting her head to the side. "He was angry with you?"

"Furious with me. For getting shot. Again."

"I do not know. He has not mentioned it." She paused. "He has been busy in the labs and I have not spoken with him in some time."

John sighed. "Check on him for me. Don't let him work too hard. I think he misses being on the team. Maybe have a team night. Make him and the squid go for a movie."

"They are not…night owls, I believe that is what Rodney said when I asked him a few weeks ago. It seems like the squid have been good for his health. He seems…happier in some ways than he was before. The squid have truly been a blessing to him."

Something in John's chest seemed to break but at the same time, he knew it was true. Rodney was happier being on the city than he had ever been being on the team. He gave her a weak smile. "Yeah. They have."

"It is much like the elders said it would be," she said with a smile. "Although the full happiness is yet to come. Perhaps in time."

"Yeah. As they get older, they're less like young kids, and more fun. So he'll have the best of both worlds."

"Do you require anything, John? I can contact the mess if you need food or Jennifer if you are in too much pain."

"I… no. I'm good. I might try to sleep again. I'm still tired."

"You must rest and recover your strength," she said quietly, gently rubbing his arm. "Remember you are not alone in this."

"Yeah. I know." He smiled at her.

Over the next few days, he slowly recovered, until Keller finally let him go back to his own room. He was grateful to finally be out of the glass box for a little while. After a careful shower, he put a movie in his laptop and stretched out on the bed.

He lasted for half and hour at most before nodding off, only to awaken in the dark some time later. He was warm, though, and felt…safe.

"Mmmm…" He curled into the source of whatever was making him feel good.

"Sleep. Rest." The words floated gently in his mind.

On some level he recognized Yellow, but he was still tired, despite all the sleep he had been getting lately. So he drifted back off until the alarm clock woke him up the next morning.

Yellow was still there acting as his very own heated blanket. There was also a tray of food and juice on the bedside table—next to where Blue was standing, shivering in what looked like anticipation.

He blinked a few times. "Hey, guys."

Blue held up two Post-It notes in quick sequence. "Food!" "Eat!"

Sitting up, being careful not to shuffle Yellow off the bed, John smiled. "Can I go to the bathroom first?"

Blue stared at him for a long minute before he shuffled off to the side, just enough to let John pass.

John headed in, scrubbing a hand over his face. Once he was done relieving himself, he grabbed his razor—his face was seriously getting itchy.

He heard a soft shuffle and turned, spotting Blue and Yellow standing shoulder-to-shoulder—if squid had shoulders—in the doorway watching him.

He pointed to his face. "I need to shave. It won't take long."

They just stared at him. It was a little unnerving, to be honest.

"If I promise to eat and drink everything you brought, can I shave? I promise, it won't take longer than a few minutes."

Blue's eyes narrowed and he nodded—a whole-body nod—a moment later.

John was a little freaked out by their sudden decision to mother hen him, but for reasons he wasn't going to look too closely at, he didn't want them to stop. So he shaved as quickly as he could without cutting himself, then walked out and sat down at his desk where the tray was.

The squid were silently observant, watching as he ate each and every bite. But as soon as he finished everything and put his fork down, they were headed for the door without a farewell wave or note.

John sighed, sorry to see them go. He was still technically off duty, since Keller let him come back to his quarters, but made it pretty clear if he went anywhere near his office he would be very, very sorry.

So instead, he pulled on sweats and headed for the gym. He needed to start getting his muscles back into top form after the infirmary stay.

The doors to the gym, though, refused to open for him.

"Oh, come on." He glared at the door. "I'm not going to push too hard, I swear!"

"Sir?" A Marine came around the corner, an eyebrow raised. "Is there an issue?"

John rubbed at his face. "The door isn't opening. So either someone has decided to lock me out, which pisses me off, or there's some kind of malfunction. Can you open the door?"

"I’m sorry, sir, but this section is off-limits to you," he said after a quick glance at the PDA he carried. Since when were the military issued PDAs for security patrols?

John pinched the bridge of his nose. "By whose orders? In case you've forgotten, I'm the commanding officer here."

"It's updated every six hours and include notes from all the senior staff," he said with a wince. "And you're currently still on medical leave." He paused, adding a quiet "Sir."

John glared at him. "Medical leave does not mean I am a fucking child. By. Whose. Orders?"

He clicked a few buttons. "Mister Woolsey and Doctor Keller signed off on it. Sir."

"Fuck." John let out a sigh. He could bully Woolsey into rescinding it, but not Keller. She might be small, but she was a serious hardass when it came to health. Well, no one could stop him from jogging. With another sigh, he turned and headed for the pier.

Everyone left him alone on his jog, which was nice, but the exercise tired him out a lot faster than he anticipated. Out on the edge of the pier, he paused, hands on his knees and bent over as he tried to catch his breath and convince his brain that he wasn't trying to injure himself.

He decided to sit and catch his breath. Dangling his legs off the side of the pier, he looked out over the ocean and wondered what the hell was wrong with him lately.

He ended up dozing in the afternoon sun and jolting awake when something blocked the warm rays. He blinked up at Radek who was hovering over him. "Are you dead? I have been forced from important project to see if you are breathing."

He rolled his eyes even as he sat up. "No, I'm not dead. I was just enjoying some sun and peace and quiet since I'm apparently on medical leave and all the interesting areas of the city have locked me out."

"Ah yes. The increased protocols. Have stopped idiots from blowing up city. Rodney is much happier."

"Yeah, and they've also locked me out of the gym." Radek gave him a hand as John got to his feet. "So I'm not dead and you can go back to your very important project."

"That is good. I do not wish to break in new colonel. Yes?"

"Yeah." John sighed. "But I'm not planning to do anything reckless this afternoon. If I'm not locked out of the Jumper Bay too, I'll probably take one up for a little while. And before you start in on the medical leave crap, flying is my form of stress relief."

Radek's face pinched. "Jumper Bay is high security access only."

"Right, and medical leave means I lost my security clearance. Fantastic."

"It is protection."

"Yes, I'm very dangerous." John rolled his eyes as they started back for the main part of the city. "What I really need a little twin-engine plane. Or a small helicopter. Something I can fly for fun without being told it's a fucking security breach."

"Those hangers would also be off-limits according to new protocols." He looked at John with a confused look. "Did you not sign off on these changes?"

"I didn't know they would be fucking used against me!" John let out a frustrated huff. "I'm not a security threat, so why the fuck have I been locked out of the system? I'm the fucking military commander of the base, and I have less access than anyone else."

"You are not yourself."

John stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I was shot, so no, I'm not back up to full mission-ready status. But that doesn't mean I'm not myself, or that all my clearances should have been revoked. This is just ridiculous."

Radek stopped and started picking things off on his fingers, his voice gaining momentum and energy as he went on. "You are not yourself. You do not eat. You do not sleep. You are short-tempered. You workout more than is wise. You do not think through decisions in the field."

With another eye roll, John threw his arms in the air. "I eat just fine. I sleep just fine. I work out because being in top physical form keeps us alive. Granted, I made a dumb decision on the last mission, but that's not a pattern, that's a mistake. I hate to break it to this whole fucking city, but I am actually human and I do fuck up sometimes!"

"You are severely underweight! Your workout routine is double the time hardcore Marines are putting in!"

"No, it's not. If I work harder it's because I have almost 200 people who rely on me to keep them alive and I can't do that if I'm out of shape." He took a deep breath. "I don't want to have this argument. I know you have a ton to do in the labs, so I'll just go find a corner somewhere to sit in where I can't actually break anything since apparently I'm a liability."

"We are having this argument," Radek said, stopping John from walking away with a vice-like grip on his arm. "Your actions have Teyla, Ronon, and I worried—among others. You are suicidal! That is only explanation. After last mission, I worry about what you may do next."

Clenching his teeth, John tried to pull his arm free, but Radek's grip was surprisingly strong. "I'm not fucking suicidal. I'm fine, I'm just frustrated as hell that everyone is treating me like I'm broken. I'm fine!"

"You are not!"

John glared. "Fine, so tell me what you think is wrong with me. If everyone is so fucking sure I'm a problem, then tell me what it is so I can fucking fix it!"

"I wish I knew what was wrong!"

John took a deep breath and forced his temper down. "Nothing is wrong. Just…let me go. I'm going back to my room. I can't do this anymore today. I'm fucking tired of trying to defend myself every time I turn around and I don't even know why."

"Then perhaps you need to figure that out."

"Or everyone else needs to stop having fits because I lost a few pounds."

"It is more than that, but perhaps if everyone is saying something you may wish to examine it more closely."

"No one is giving me anything to examine. You all just keep telling me something is wrong and not listening when I tell you I'm fine."

"We tell you, but you brush us off."

"Because I don't see what you do, apparently." John shook his head. "I don't know what everyone wants from me Radek. I fucked up on the last mission, yes, but other than admitting that, I honestly don't know what you want from me here other than to drive me batshit insane by grounding me and locking me out of most of the city."

"Fine," Radek said, throwing up his hands and taking a few steps away from John. "Rodney said you would not listen to reason, but I had hoped you would listen to me, your teammate. You are not yourself. Repeatedly telling yourself that you are fine does not make it true."

John watched him stomp off muttering to himself. With a sigh John leaned against the wall and slid down to sit on the floor.

He just…didn't understand. Fine, his pants were big. He had to pull in his belt, but that happens to everyone. Just because he spent most of his off time in the gym didn't make him an exerciseaholic or anything.

He only ate when he was hungry. And if he hadn't had much of an appetite lately, that wasn't something wrong. It was just… not wanting to eat when he wasn't hungry. With a sigh he pushed himself up again and headed for his room. He needed something to do to distract him. Maybe he would see how big of a Rube Goldberg machine he could make using only the stuff already on hand in his quarters.

When he arrived in his quarters he discovered two squid in his room, quivering in what seemed like anger and anticipation. Blue immediately surged toward him, wrapping a tentacle around his hand and pulling him toward his desk where two trays of food sat.

"What the..."

Yellow's tentacle brushed the ride of his face and he jumped, but the message in his mind was clear. "Eat."

John started to shake his head. "I'm really not hungry, guys."

Eight Post-It notes immediately appeared. "Eat!"

John winced. Despite not feeling like eating at all, he picked up the fork and took a few bites.

The squid kept staring at him.

"I ate!"

They stared at him harder. It was a little disconcerting.

John could only take so much staring, so he took a few more bites. When he got what he assumed was the equivalent of squid glares, he sighed and ate the rest of the food on the plate.

Yellow had started stroking his back and arm when he was about halfway through with his dinner plate. Thankfully they weren't forcing him to eat the lunch tray, too.

When it was all gone, he gave them a weak smile, although he felt like a stuffed turkey.

Yellow gave his hand a gentle tug toward the bed.

"Bed? Now? But it's the middle of the afternoon."

Yellow tugged again.

He stood up and went over to the bed. "Can I at least put a movie on?"

Yellow let his arm go. He took it for permission.

He put a stupid movie that always made him smile and started playback before hopping into bed next to Yellow.

Yellow wrapped itself around John as Blue headed out the door, trays in its tentacles.

Shaking his head, John made it through the movie, and then another, Yellow happily curled around him the whole time.

It was…nice.

It had been so long since he had anything like this. If he was honest, he never really had. Even his wife, during his short-lived marriage, hated cuddling. And despite Rodney's beliefs to the contrary, John hadn't actually had sex since just before the whole catastrophe that had earned him the black mark. Maybe that was what was wrong with him. He was really fucking lonely sometimes.

Yellow crooned and shifted, holding him tighter, a tentacle petting his cowlicks.

Hell, no one was watching. He turned his face into the squid and while he didn't cry, he did let himself just… feel. God, was it too much to ask for someone to love him? Sure they all relied on him to save their lives, and he had good friends, but no one who just wanted him for himself.

Except one damn yellow alien squid.

John hiccupped a little laugh that sounded a bit hysterical even to him.

"Safe. You're safe."

"Safe isn't always enough," he said softly.

"What else do you need?"

Lifting his head, John gave Yellow a small smile. "Nothing anyone can give me, I'm afraid. I'm just… sad I guess. Everyone wants to be loved, but in my position, and with my past, I'm not really 'love' material. Lust maybe, but not love. And I outgrew wanting to have someone be in lust with me a long time ago."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why can’t you have love?"

"I can have some kinds of love. Friendship is a kind of love. But while I value that, and treasure it… sometimes I want more. But I can't date anyone on base because it would be considered favoritism, and I won't date off-world because that's just asking for trouble."

"But people are together." John got a rush of images in his head.

He huffed. "Honestly little guy, my friendship with your father is the closest I've had to a relationship in a very long time."

"He's lonely, too."

"He has you guys now though, so I don't think he's as lonely as he was. And he's dating that girl from botany."

Yellow shuddered. "No, he's not."

John blinked. "Huh, I didn't know they had broken up. He was with her for a while."

"She was too nice."

Chuckling, John agreed. "I never liked her for him either. But despite his beliefs, he won't be alone long. There are a lot of people who think smart is sexy. And a lot of people out here know his bluster is mostly an act."

"We don't like Jennifer either."

"Keller? I didn't know he was interested in her. She's a nice girl, but she knows him well enough to know how to stand up to him. I could see them together." John absently rubbed at his chest. For some reason it ached a little thinking about that.

"She is. We don't like her."

"Well, I'm sure he won't have any problems finding someone. There are a lot of women on base who would love to have a chance to date him."

Yellow hesitated.

"Don't worry about him. I know he'll find the nice woman—probably blond--he's always dreaming about, and they'll get married and have super-smart babies."

"No kids." Yellow shuddered.

"Well, maybe not the kids, you're right." He laughed softly. "But the large-chested blond who's good at math, that he'll find no problem."

"Why blonde?"

"I have no idea. You'll have to ask him. That's what he always talks about though, so I assume that's his type."

"No."

John sighed. "At the end of the day, looks don't really matter. I think he just needs someone smart enough to keep up with him. I think that's why he's been so fixated on Colonel Carter. She's the total package for him."

Yellow shuddered harder than before.

John laughed again. "Well, don't worry too much about it. He won't be alone long, and then he won't be lonely anymore."

"We're not enough," Yellow said after a long moment, the words tinged with sadness.

"You give him more than you realize." John hugged Yellow tighter for a moment. "I haven't seen him this happy, ever. Don't discount that."

"He's not though. Not really."

"He's happier than he's been in a very long time. Maybe ever, from what I know of his childhood. That counts for a lot."

"Not enough."

"I know he'll find the perfect girl that you guys will approve of and who will love him. And then you'll all be a happy family together, and it will be more than enough, because he'll be in love, and be loved in return."

Yellow didn't answer, but its unhappiness was very present.

John wished he could do more to reassure her. Unfortunately, he didn't know what else to say. As it was, he was glad no one else was here, since they really would think he was a pod person saying some of this. He was usually pretty good at keeping that part of him buried.

Yellow's tentacle reached out and hit the play button on the laptop, snuggling in closer.

John dozed off and on after that. He ate everything Blue brought in for dinner, and then got in the shower.

It was weird and nice to be mothered. Maybe the squid were just projecting some kind of weird alien squid calming pheromones or something. But he wasn't usually this mellow.

When he wandered out of the shower, he wondered if they would still be there, or if they would have gone back to Rodney's place. He knew McKay would come looking for them, Yellow in particular, if she didn't go home soon.

Blue was gone, but Yellow was still there waiting for him.

John didn't question it, just pulled on a pair of boxers and climbed back into bed with her. If this was the closest he was going to get to anything resembling physical comfort, he would take it.

Sad as it was.

He slept like a rock and woke in the morning to a snoring—god, since when did squid snore?—yellow squid.

Carefully getting out of bed without waking her, John relieved himself and tried to decide what to do with his day. He couldn't hide in his room forever. Even with the squid feeding him, eventually people would start looking for him. Probably.

Well, Radek had looked for him yesterday. To make sure he wasn't dead. That was…more than a little disturbing.

Sighing, John ran a hand through his hair. He should probably put something other than sweatpants on, too.

He wasn't expecting his door chime—at least not at this hour of the morning. It was still too early for most people to be up and about.

Wandering out, he absently opened the door, expecting it to be Blue, although why he would use the doorbell when he never had before, John had no idea.

Instead it was the base shrink—whose name he had never planned to remember. "Colonel, did I wake you?"

John blinked. "I just got up. What time is it?"

"Just before eight, but you usually are up and running by now. Since I didn't see you, I wanted to swing by." He gave John a smile. "Can I come in?"

"Uh." John glanced down at himself. He was only wearing a pair of thin cotton boxer shorts for god's sake. "Actually..."

"I've seen everything, Colonel, that doesn't bother me," he said, stepping forward. John instinctively moved out of the way so the man wouldn't touch him.

"Yeah. Look, I just woke up, and I haven't even had coffee yet this morning. Can we do this some other time? Yellow isn't even awake yet."

"I just wanted to chat. It won't take long," he said, overtly looking around John's room.

John wondered what he was looking for. With a sigh, he waved to his desk chair and took a seat on the edge of the bed. "What can I do for you then?"

"You've had a…troublesome mission. It's protocol to have a chat with me before you're returned to duty."

"I wasn't aware that I was anywhere close to being returned to duty yet."

"Would you rather not get this conversation out of the way?" he said, pausing just before he sat in John's desk chair. "We can just…move this to another time."

"Well, I just don't normally do psych evals first thing in the morning in my underwear."

He sat down. "So is that a yes or a no?"

John sighed. "You're here, so let's get this over with. What do I need to do to get back on duty?"

"Give me a good reason why you stepped in front of all of those bullets when you didn't have to and," he said with a smirk, "tell me my name since I know you're struggling with that."

Fuck. John glared at him. "That's cruel and unusual."

"And why I get paid the big bucks."

He wracked his brain. "Tim?"

He chuckled. "Not even close."

"Damn. McKay is rubbing off on me. Okay, I seriously can't remember your name. I'm sorry."

"Robert Sullivan," he said holding out his hand. "I knew when we met you wouldn't remember. You had that…glazed over look that kids get when they don't want to be somewhere."

He gave him a rueful smile. "No offense, but by the time we got to that part of the meet and greet, I was bored out of my mind. A pleasure to meet you."

"I picked up on that. I'll try not to take it personally. So…how about that first question—the proverbial elephant in the room, or in the city in this case."

John sighed. "I don't really have a good reason, other than it seemed like a good idea at the time. It was a dumb call on my part, I know that."

"You could say that," Robert said with a nod. "So, what were you thinking?"

"That people were shooting at us, and I needed to take them out before they hurt my team."

"So…your body was the logical option? The last time I checked you weren't bulletproof."

"I already said I know it was a bad call. I am allowed to have bad days. But..." John glanced at Yellow and debated, deciding to share what he hoped would get him back on duty the fastest. He decided to go with a more general version of the truth. "It's been brought to my attention that I'm apparently a little... attached to my team. They're my family, and I just... had to protect them."

Robert nodded. "That has been noted in your file—and is really no secret to anyone living in the city. But it still doesn’t explain why you thought killing yourself would be a good idea. Although it is quite a bit faster than what you're doing to yourself now."

Crap. This guy was more astute than John thought. "I wasn't actually trying to kill myself. It's not like I thought, 'Gee, I want to go die today.' They just started shooting, and I went a little overboard. That's all."

"A little?"

"Okay, a lot." John sighed. "They're my…they're all I have, and I already lost two of them-" Fuck, he hadn't meant to say two.

Robert didn't miss it. "Two? I did read about Aiden Ford, but who is the other?"

Fucking shrink catching him off guard without coffee. John had to give the man credit. No one had ever managed to unbalance him like this. He debated arguing the point, but he had a feeling that would only prolong the torture. "McKay. He's not gone, I know that, but... he's not on my team anymore. He's moved on. Which is fine. As you can see, I'm rather fond of the squid myself and he's…happier staying in the city being a true CSO."

"Is he?"

"Everyone keeps telling me how fu- how happy he is, how relaxed he is, how great this has been for him."

"He has adjusted well to his new situation," Robert said with a slight nod. "I have to admit to being surprised at how well he made the adjustment, but I know he is eager to go off-world."

"I don't think so. He's been telling me about how much he's getting done, how much more efficient the department is, how close he's getting to writing his Nobel papers. All the time he spent going on missions, he can actually apply toward his real job now. He doesn't even stay up until all hours in the labs anymore. He doesn't need to."

"He's adjusted to his new situation. Have you?"

"Apparently not since everyone seems to think I've lost my mind." John sighed, not realizing he was shifting to adjust for Yellow crawling into his lap and around him.

"I see Yellow has taken to mothering you."

John nuzzled her before he caught himself, feeling the flush running down his chest. Being mostly naked sucked. "I don't mind. We've bonded."

"I can see. She likes to seek out those who need help. That should tell you something about your state of mind."

John wanted to object, but her warmth and sense of safety wrapped around his mind, taking down some of his defenses. "Maybe. When it comes to someone wanting to spend the night with me, I'll take what I can get."

"Rodney has spoken about her…leanings toward mothering. If it's too much I can tell Doctor McKay about it."

"No." He looked up, alarmed.

Robert raised an eyebrow. "No?"

"No. I don't want to lose her, too."

"Okay. Apparently we've stumbled on one of your…issues. So this seemed to…spike when Rodney's status changed."

John winced, but Yellow wasn't letting him retreat behind his walls any more than Robert was. "I might have some loneliness issues. Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Maybe."

Robert nodded again. "And this all surfaced…"

"I don't know why Rodney leaving my team brought it to the surface. Maybe I was a little jealous that he has the squid."

"Jealous. Of the squid?"

"That too. Maybe." John rubbed Yellow absently. "They all get to have a physical connection, touch each other, sleep together." He sighed softly. "I haven't slept in the same bed with another person since just before Afghanistan. I guess I just... miss it. Miss having that connection."

Robert's eyebrows were headed into his hairline. "So…this was one topic I wasn't expecting. Have you…talked to Rodney about your…jealousy?"

John raised an eyebrow at him. "How the hell do you start a conversation with your best friend that you're jealous he has squid? Besides, I only figured it out last night."

"You have a sit down and talk about it."

"Why? There's nothing he can do about it. It's not like he asked for this. And I have Yellow for as long as she wants to hang out with me." John shook his head. "It's fine. As long as I know where the manic shit was coming from, I can control it. It won't be an issue anymore."

"Perhaps. Although this…passive-aggressive acting out to get attention is more like a teenager's reaction than a grown man."

"Okay, I hadn't thought of it that way." John made a face. "Great, now McKay will have even more reason to call me a teenage girl. Fuck."

"Okay," Robert said, rising to his feet. "I think we got a lot accomplished. Same time tomorrow?"

"Wait, I thought we talked and then I get cleared for duty?"

"Oh, did you think that?" he said as he paused by the door. "No. I think we have some additional items to go through, don't you?"

"No. I think we pretty much plumbed the depths of my admittedly fucked up psyche, and now I'd like to go back to repressing and ignoring, thanks."

"No can do, sorry. I'll see you tomorrow morning." Robert offered a wave and then was out the door and gone.

"Well, fuck." He was so very, very screwed.

***

Rodney was pissed. And angry. And pissed. And ticked off. And angry. Right. He'd covered the angry part.

Besides caring for four squid—who had all of sudden entered the squid equivalent of adolescence and were just…arguing with him and not listening and doing whatever they wanted—he had Sheppard trying to kill himself in new and ingenious ways.

Why couldn't the man put his brain to good use for once in the science department?

Scientists—apart from Radek, he wasn't afraid of anything it seemed—were giving him a wide berth and those who ran afoul of his temper or his attention, were sorry.

Radek looked up as he finished reaming out another person, as she fled the lab in tears. "Why don't you take out anger on person who is actually causing it? This would be more productive, yes?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Rodney said, slamming his empty mug on the counter.

"Do not play stupid, it does not look good on you."

"My staff has decided that instead of trying to blow up the city on a daily basis, they'll try to test my patience with idiotic project requests and just plain wrong calculations!" he said, his voice rising at the end. Several scientists in the room flinched.

"That is nothing new. But you are pissy and this hurts my ability to work. So go yell at Colonel Sheppard and get it out of your system so that we may have peace and quiet once more."

"Right. As if that would do any good. Knowing my luck, he'd probably go and string himself off the nearest balcony and then I'd be to blame for killing the city's prodigal son."

Radek rolled his eyes. "You are probably the only one he will actually listen to, but you avoid him completely. So go. Yell. Make him cry and confess why he has lost his mind. You are engineer—take him apart and fix him."

Rodney snorted. "The last time I checked he wasn't a robot. I leave the taking bodies apart to Jennifer and the soft sciences."

Radek's expression got serious. "He is… hard man to reach. Very good at keeping others at arm's length. Do not think I have not read the same files you have. We are both good hackers and will not work for those we do not know all the dirt on. However, with you he is different. He lets guard down. And this…behavior started when squid came to the city and you were forced to leave his team. I have done calculations. Odds of it being something other than that bothering him are 0.000025 percent."

"What he's jealous of the squid? Hell, Yellow has been spending more time with him than with me. He can take them."

Radek shook his head. "I do not know. I am not in his head. However, you are only one he will not walk away from or refuse to speak to. I have tried to make him talk, but he closes off wall. With you, he does not. So you will reach him and give him verbal tongue lashing until he confesses sins and fixes problem."

Rodney snorted. "Right."

"You will not know if you do not try."

"Look. He doesn't want to talk to me and honestly, I have no intention of talking to him until he stops acting like a crazy person."

"Why do you think he does not wish to talk to you? He cuddles your squid like it is lifeline."

"I know, okay. There are some things that I just know." He wasn't going to mention that Yellow had told him about Sheppard's reaction to the mention if his name. The anger and disgust.

"You do not know." Radek glared at him. "But fine. You do not wish to speak to him, I cannot force you. But you will stop treating lab like personal anger management class. If you cannot refrain from yelling, you will go work elsewhere."

"You are not going to kick me out of my lab."

"Yes I can. Is in my contract. Now shoo."

Rodney crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Radek. "If you have a problem with your work environment, you can leave. I’m not."

"You are angry, and you are getting nothing done. There are three errors I see in your calculations from here. I would bet there are more if I looked harder. If you cannot focus, you should not be doing dangerous things. This is policy you created. You must adhere to it if you expect others to do the same."

"There are no errors in my calculations. You need to get your eyes examined again."

Radek got up and walked over. In short succession he pointed out three places. "Here, here and here. They are wrong."

"They are…look. I haven’t been sleeping well and I wasn't about ready to push this live to the server. I would have checked it."

"Which is why you need to go elsewhere and clear your head. Talk to Sheppard or don't, is up to you. But here, right now, you are getting nothing productive done, and you are distracting everyone else."

"I'm fine," he said through gritted teeth.

"Where have I heard that phrase before? You are becoming as bad as Sheppard. Must I start watching you for crazy behavior now as well?"

"Fine," he said, throwing up his hands. He quickly logged out of the system and put his computer workstation to sleep. "Fine. You want the lab to yourself, you can have it. Don't call me if you blow it up."

"Finally. Go, relax, get temper under control, come back when you are not crazy."

"I am not crazy," Rodney muttered as he stormed out of the labs.

Before he got far, Red was there, wrapping a tentacle around him and tugging at him. "Come."

"Come where? I ate already. I'm not hungry and I don't need to go to the infirmary."

"Come." Red tugged him around the corner to the Jumper Bay. Where Sheppard was, from the looks of it, trying to break in.

"What are you trying to do?"

Sheppard jumped what looked like a mile. "Holy Christ! You scared the shit out of me, McKay! When did you learn to move that quiet?"

"It's easy to be quiet when you're making a racket. What are you trying to do, exactly? Break the door down?"

Sheppard actually blushed. "The new shrink is like a psyche ninja. He keeps catching me off-guard and making me talk about my feelings. So I was trying to get a Jumper to get a few minutes of peace… Hey, if you come with me, it won't technically be breaking and entering. Interested in a ride?"

"Radek just threw me out of the lab and said I'm crazy, so I doubt I'm allowed to go near anything remotely volatile—and that probably includes you these days."

Sheppard gave him a pathetic look. "At least try? If the door will open for you, we can run away for an hour or two. Otherwise, I'm going to have to confess to more shit I've been happily repressing since I was about 13."

Rodney snorted, but walked up to the door, Red's tugging helping him along the way. "You are the king of repression. It's practically where you live all the time. Why should you be surprised someone finally called you on it?" He tried the door first and when that didn't work, opened the security panel and started punching in his codes.

"Yeah, well, I was happy that way. I thought." Sheppard leaned against the door to watch him work. "Apparently it takes a fucking ninja who shows up at my door when I'm in my underwear before I've even had coffee for fucks sake to get it out. I tried to claim cruel and unusual methods, but Woolsey threw me out of his office."

After going through all his security codes he offered Sheppard a shrug. "Apparently Radek decided I need a break."

"Damn." Sheppard signed. "All right, why don't we go play chess or something? We haven't hung out in a while." Sheppard glanced at him, hesitated, then took a deep breath. "I owe you an apology anyway. Apparently, I've been jealous of your squid and sort of took it out on everyone around me, including you. So, ah, sorry."

Rodney blinked up at Sheppard, a little speechless. "Wait. I couldn't have heard you correctly, because it distinctly sounded like you said you were jealous of the squid and I know you don't have any kind of weird man-crushes because you don't swing that way."

Sheppard opened his mouth a few times then closed it. Then looked around. "Okay, seriously, if you get me fired I will never forgive you. But I might, um, have had a few encounters that weren't exactly unpleasant. But that's beside the fact, and seriously, the ninja has me over-sharing to everyone now. Christ."

Rodney rubbed a hand across his face. "Okay. So let me get this straight. You're jealous of the time I spend with the squid because you think we're in some kind of…bromance or something?"

"Not exactly." John ran a hand across his face. "I'm apparently jealous of them because… you have them. You have that…companionship I guess." He sighed. "Contrary to popular belief, I've been alone for a long time, McKay. My team is pretty much as close as I've had to a real relationship. And…yeah. I'm going to stop there because I already feel like a total idiot. I might have to kill the ninja for tearing down my very carefully constructed walls so I can't seem to help sharing."

"Not a bromance. More of a man-crush?"

To his surprise, John actually blushed. "No. I can't… look, I can't technically be having this conversation with you. It's bad enough the ninja has me admitting to things that would be detrimental to my career. I can't… I just wanted to apologize for being an ass, okay?"

Rodney stared at him for a long moment before nodding. "Fair enough. Does this also mean you're going to stop killing yourself? Fast or slow, it doesn't matter because it all ends up the same way."

Sheppard sighed. "I wasn't actually trying to kill myself you know. I was just… not dealing with change very well apparently. But yes, Blue glares at me if I don't eat three times a day, and as long as I don't do anything stupid like steal a Jumper, the ninja will probably clear me to return to duty in the next few days."

"And Yellow? She is still with you?"

"Yeah. That's kind of what started the whole thing." They started walking back toward the residential quarters. "She's sneaky. The first time the ninja surprised me she was there, and every time I tried to steer the conversation, she was in my head making it almost impossible to lie."

Rodney snorted. "Tell me about it. I haven't had a moment's peace. They are continually telling me I need to stop making people cry."

John chuckled. "I'm out of the loop on lab gossip. Why are you making people cry? I thought you were enjoying being in the labs full time."

"They're still idiots. Instead of blowing up the labs, they're coming up with more and more moronic ways to try to drive me out of my mind. And let me tell you, the administrative paperwork is starting to multiply on its own."

"That's why I give all the paperwork to Lorne."

"Radek and Miko used to take care of a lot of the daily crap, but since I'm grounded I have no excuse anymore. And it's not like Radek is just floating around the city anymore. He's out making discoveries with you."

John glanced over at him. "I was under the impression you liked this arrangement better. Everyone keeps telling me how much happier you seem, and relaxed and shit without a mission schedule."

"I never said that."

John shrugged. "I didn't think, now that you've had a chance to do the job you thought you were going to do, that you would want to come back to the team. I kind of forced it on you."

"You did and I complained loudly about it, but I've kind of…it's kind of grown on me." Rodney shrugged. "I don't like the running from hostile natives part, but the discovery part…"

"Yeah. And Radek is a good guy, but… it's not the same. So once the squid are grown enough to not need you here every day, you're always welcome to come back."

"It'll be a year. That's what they said. So I have what…six more months?"

Sheppard sighed. "Yeah. And I promise I won't do anything needlessly reckless in that time."

"You better not. But you know you have to start eating again. There's just something way too emo about you right now."

That earned him a glare. "Gee, thanks."

"What? It's true," Rodney protested. "You can't argue with the truth."

Sheppard glared a bit more. "Right, well. Now that I've managed to completely and utterly humiliate myself, I need to go find somewhere to hide from the ninja. A man can only take so much in one day."

"He's probably consoling one of the morons I yelled at today. You're probably safe for now."

"You don't know this guy. It's like he senses when I'm most off guard and pounces. It's freaky."

"So freaky is the technical term?"

"Yes." Sheppard gave him a grin.

Rodney shook his head. "You're an idiot on so many levels. You know that, don’t you?"

Sheppard clapped him on the shoulder as he laughed. "And you're my partner in crime. What does that say about you?"

"I'm not really sure." Rodney rolled his eyes. "So, snack?"

"Sure, why not. If I don't now, Blue will hunt me down later and make me eat one and make me feel horribly guilty for it."

"The staring is a little disconcerting."

"Very. They get their point across though."

"At least you don't get the constant chatter."

"I do from Yellow. She's been sort of living in my head the last few days." Sheppard plopped down on Rodney's couch.

"All the time?"

"Pretty much. This is the first time she's let me out of her sight in a while. I think she was picking up that you were worried, and wanted to make sure I was okay."

"It wouldn't surprise me if one of them learned how to type and told Radek to boot me out of my own lab."

"Or they just showed up with a sticky note."

"They still won't tell me how they make them and the zoology department refuses to even try to figure it out."

"Yeah, it makes my brain hurt to think about it, so I stopped trying."

Rodney poked his head into the bedroom, spotting Purple and Yellow napping on the bed. Apparently Red and Blue were out causing trouble. "What do you want? I don't have too much here."

"Whatever you have is fine."

Rodney started rummaging through the cabinets. "Well, apparently it's less than I thought. We might have to go to the mess."

"All right, but I haven't been there in a while. Can we stop by my quarters so I can put on something other than sweatpants?"

"Sure, whatever," Rodney said with a wave of his hand as he headed for the door. "It's not like I have anywhere else to be."

They went to John's room—which was a bigger disaster than Rodney had ever seen it. Sheppard grabbed a pair of BDUs and a t-shirt and headed into the bathroom. "Be right back."

"So what bomb went off in here and why wasn't it on one of the daily reports?"

"Ha. Very ha."

"Look at this place," Rodney said, gesturing widely.

"So I need to do a little cleaning. I haven't been in the mood lately."

"A little cleaning? You could have small rodents living in here." Rodney looked up suddenly. "You don't have small rodents in here, do you? I don't like mice."

"No, Rodney, I don't have mice." He came back out, and he looked more like the John Sheppard Rodney had known for the past few years than he had in weeks.

"Are you sure?"

"Very. I'll clean tonight."

Rodney snorted. "Right. Come on before I catch some weird disease from this room."

"Like your room isn't usually worse. You just have the squid to clean for you now."

"And? What's wrong with that?" Rodney asked as they headed out. "They want to feel useful. I’m all about them being useful."

"Just saying you don't have many stones to throw here, buddy."

"Who says? You're jealous of squid."

"Low blow, using my over sharing against me." John shot him a grin though.

"You have a point?" Rodney asked as they stepped into the transporter. They popped out at the mess seconds later. "You're the one who brought it up."

"Just wait until the ninja sets his sights on you. Then you won't be laughing at his freaky ability to make you share things."

"I have four squid who can read my mind. How is that any different?" Rodney grabbed a tray and headed directly for the main courses. It was apparently experimental lunch day.

"They don't actively make you talk about what they find."

Rodney snorted. "You'd be surprised. They ask me about every passing thought."

"Yeah, I did notice that some in Yellow while she's been mothering me. I get the feeling they're still trying to understand. They might be super-squid, but they're still babies in some ways."

"Teenagers," he said, pointing to the least scary lunch option. "I'll have that—as long as there's no citrus in it. I’m deathly allergic."

"Yes, Doctor McKay. That one is safe." The Marine put some on his plate.

"What is it?" he asked, trying not to drop his tray as he flinched back. It was…purple and green and not in a good way.

"It tastes like meatloaf."

"And it looks like—"

The Marine shrugged. "Unicorn dung? Sorry sir, but it does taste good."

"That's just…" Rodney said as he moved away. "Wrong. So very wrong."

John's soft chuckle followed him as the other man got his own colorful meatloaf and followed Rodney to a table.

Rodney twisted open the top on his bottle of water. "I just…how can they make stuff that looks like this?"

"Because that's what the stuff in this galaxy looks like. It would be cool to actually find unicorns on a planet through. Or dragons. I could see myself reenacting Pern."

"Of course you would," Rodney said, rolling his eyes. "Only you would look for the fantasy worlds where you could ride on a fire-breathing dragon."

"Hey, you get pet squid. I think it's only fair I get a pet fire-breathing dragon. We could have Wraith-roasts."

"Knowing our luck, the Wraith would invent Thread."

"Yeah, but the dragons could burn it, so it wouldn't be a problem."

"Thread was a huge issue in Pern. And it kills dragons and riders, too. Especially when the riders are idiotic risk takers with no concern for their own life or the mess they'll leave behind."

"Ah, but Pern didn't have you to invent Thread-proof armor for the dragons and riders to keep them safe."

Rodney snorted. "Right."

"You would. I can see it now. You'd revolutionize things because you'd be the guy who figured out how to protect them so they could take care of the problem without taking any risks. Or you'd figure out how to get rid of it completely."

He rolled his eyes, shoveling the food into his mouth. If he didn't look at it his gag reflex didn't kick in. "Would that before or after you finally killed yourself because you did something stupid?"

"I already promised you I wouldn't do anything needlessly stupid."

"Yeah. And what you say and what you do are two different things." He angrily stabbed at the food on his plate.

John sighed. "I don't know what else I can do to apologize, Rodney. I can't promise I won't be in dangerous situations, since that's kind of my job. I won't jump in front of bullets again though."

"For now."

"What do you want from me? I won't promise I won't risk my life again. I'll do whatever is necessary to protect the people I've pledged to keep safe. All I can do is promise to be a little less reckless about doing it."

"But that's just it!" Rodney said, letting his fork drop to his plate with a clatter. "A little less reckless for you still means you're acting like Evel Knievel's twin brother! You don't know how to do anything halfway! It's always just black or white to you and I hate that you're so damn willing to just…throw your life away!"

John blinked, and looked around. Rodney noticed that the mess had gone quiet and people were staring at them. "Why don't we take this somewhere a little less… public?"

Rodney took a deep breath. "You know, no. Just…I need some air." He shoved his chair back and headed for the door.

"McKay." John grabbed his arm to keep him from walking out. He took a deep breath. "I won't ask anyone serving under me to do something I'm not willing to do myself. I won't risk civilian lives, period. I never go out with a plan to die, but I have to be willing to take risks to do my job and keep this city and its people safe."

"But why do you have to be so damn willing to just…give up everything? You almost died! Again!"

"I'm not willing to give up everything. I just value the lives of my team and my men too much to let them die when I can do something about it, even if that puts me in harm's way. Can't you see that? These people need and deserve a commander who is willing to keep them safe at all costs."

"Fine! Be that commander for all I care, but I can't do it anymore," Rodney said, his anger making him reckless. "I can't watch you throw yourself on bombs and in front of bullets. Not anymore." He turned heading out of the mess.

John was right behind him. "Would you rather I just stood aside and let the bomb go off and kill us all? At least if I act, there's a chance no one will get hurt other than me. And I'd rather the science and med teams have one person to focus all their efforts on than a whole team dying because the resources were stretched too thin. You're all worth too much to let that happen."

"And you're worth something, too! Don’t you see that?" Rodney asked, turning back Sheppard. "What is it going to take to get it through all that hair and that thick skull? I can't watch you…throw your life away. I can't do it, not anymore."

"I'm not throwing my life away, damnit! But you are worth more than I am! I have a fucking gene through a random twist of fate. That's it. I'm replaceable and expendable. You're not!"

"You are not replaceable! God, how can you even think that? Are you out of your mind?"

Sheppard slumped. "Because I'm just another grunt, Rodney. I'm one of hundreds of people who could command this base. My gene is hardly unique, especially now that we have the gene therapy. I protect the people in my command and the civilians we have in the city, but anyone can and would do that. I don't have a genius IQ, I'm not an internationally known diplomat, hell, before I sat in that fucking chair, I was pretty much considered the 'what not to do in the Air Force' poster boy."

"You need to get your head out of your ass," Rodney said, ignoring the growing crowd lingering in and around the mess hall. "You could have been in MENSA, but you refused to join. You don't want to own up to the fact that you're smart. That would mean taking responsibility for yourself and for your life. And god forbid you do something responsible. Oh no, not John Sheppard. You'd rather throw your life away because you don't think it's worth anything and that's exactly how you've been living your life—like it was worthless. Well, it's high time you got a wake-up call. You are not expendable. You are not replaceable. If it wasn't for you and your gene we would have been dead ten times over if not more. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start living your life."

Rodney turned and walked away, his anger making him tremble.

Sheppard yelled after him. "God damnit! I do live my fucking life, and what part of taking responsibility for this whole damn base do you seem to not understand. I was fucking disowned by my family when I was 18 for refusing to go into my father's business, and I never looked back even when the fucking Air Force spent the better part of 15 YEARS trying to convince me I was worthless. So fuck it, McKay. I'm tired of trying to justify myself to you. I've made my choices in life, and I don't regret them."

Rodney whirled around, taking a few steps back toward Sheppard before stopping. "You don't take responsibility for anything. You just play the hero. So what if you walked away from your family. At least you had a family to walk away from. If you want to share sob stories, I'm sure we can. And I don't want you to justify yourself to me. I want you to justify yourself to yourself—but that seems like an impossible task so I don't know why I’m even bothering to bring it up."

"I don't need to justify my decisions to myself. I decided a long time ago what I wanted from life, and I went out and earned it. I damn well know I'm not completely worthless, but I also know that on this base, in the grand scheme of things, it's my job, the military's job, to make sure the civilians out here stay alive. Our lives aren't worthless, but we all know that if there's a choice to make, we will sacrifice our lives to save yours. It's what we signed on for, and I damn well won't let anyone die while I stand by and twiddle my fucking thumbs because I'm too scared of getting hurt."

"Fine. Go ahead and think that if you want," Rodney said, suddenly exhausted. "The military has invested millions of dollars in your training and everyone in this entire expedition has invested in you and the decisions you make. We'd do just about anything for you, but you can't or won't see that. We don't think you're expendable or replaceable or just another grunt." Rodney paused, rubbing a hand over his face. "Just…right. Well, I guess that's enough of a spectacle for today."

He turned and walked to the transporter, stepping inside and picking the furthest point in the city he could get to.

At some point, all four of the squid found him and wrapped themselves around him. For once, they didn't bombard him with questions, just cuddling close.

"Well, that was a mess."

"Everyone is unhappy that you and John are fighting." Yellow was almost trying to crawl into his skin trying to get closer.

"Get used to it because I don't think this is going to just…resolve itself. He'll start on missions again in a week or so and his thinking will go back to normal."

"No." Red this time. "You are both right and wrong. You need to not fight."

"I’m done. No more fighting. I'll go back to the lab in the morning, apologize to Zelenka, and get back to work. It's better that way."

All four of them whined. "He needs you. You need him. You hurt."

"That's life," Rodney said bitterly. "You don't get what you want and everything hurts. Get used to it."

"Not true." Purple wrapped a tentacle around his thigh. "He hurts, too."

"It's life. Life sucks."

"Only if you let it." Blue was the most aggressive of the quartet. "You give up too easy."

"I'm not having this conversation with you," Rodney said, shaking his head. "I can give you to the zoology department if you don't let it go right now."

"No, you can't." He got it in stereo.

"You can read my mind, you know I'm not joking."

"We know you're mad, but not at us. You need to make up with John."

"I've said my piece. He said his. We're done." Rodney shoved the squid to the side as he rose to his feet. "I'm going to get dinner and go back to our room. You can come if you want, but this conversation is over. You bring it up and I'll call zoology."

He felt the unhappiness radiating from all four of them so strong it was almost painful.

"What are you going to do? Coming home or are you going to stay here?"

"You don't want us to come. You're hurting us with your anger."

"I said you can come, but this subject if off limits. My…anger will pass if you stop pestering me about Sheppard."

"We can't stop. You're pushing it into our heads."

Rodney threw his hands up in the air. "I don't know what to tell you. You're going to have to get used to anger and unpleasantness."

He got another burst of painful unhappiness.

This one dropped him to his knees.

Yellow moved closer. "That's what we feel from you. It hurts, Daddy."

"Life hurts!" Rodney held his head, trying without success to block the pain he felt from the squid.

"Only if you let it, Daddy. You're doing what you yelled at John for. You're running away."

"God, just stop."

"We can't, Daddy."

"I can't…" Rodney winced as another wave of pain washed over him.

"You're so angry at him, Daddy, but it's not all at him. Why are you so angry at yourself?"

"Stop, please stop," he begged. "I can't…no more. I can't." The next wave of pain bent him at the waist, his head resting on the decking of the pier.

"We can't stop, Daddy. You're sending it to us. You have to stop."

"Not…not doing anything."

"Yes you are. You're sending us so much pain."

He shook his head, trying to push the pain away, but it just kept getting worse. The next wave pulled a cry from his mouth and he slumped onto the deck. The next wave came quickly after, completely overwhelming his senses.

***

When Rodney stormed out, John found himself standing just outside the mess hall with what looked like half the base staring at him. Great, just great.

Lorne appeared a moment later, stepping out of the same transporter Rodney had stepped into. "Sir…what seems to be the problem?"

John ran a hand through his hair. "McKay and I just had what turned out to be a very public fight." He sighed. "But there's no problem. I'm sure you'll be able to watch a video playback later. I can't imagine it won't show up on the fucking intranet within the half-hour if you really want to know what happened."

"A fight, sir? Do I need to be concerned about an injured civilian?"

John rolled his eyes. "Not that kind of fight, Lorne. The whole point of the fucking fight was that he's pissed at me for risking my life to protect civilians. Hitting him would have sort of invalidated my argument."

Lorne glanced around at all the people loitering. "Okay. There's nothing to see here. Get back to your stations or to what you were doing before." He turned to John. "Walk with me?"

John fell into step beside him. "You know, I was actually to a point where I was going to be cleared for duty again so I can get off my ass. This is a serious setback."

"Off the record…What's going on, John?"

That got an eyebrow raise, but he respected Lorne too much not to give him an honest answer. "If you really want to know, let's go to your office, Evan. I think I've given the city enough gossip fodder for one day, don't you?"

"Your office, mine, it doesn't matter."

"Not really, as long as it's not a public hallway."

"Lead the way," Lorne said, holding out his hand.

John headed to his own office. It was closer, and he figured having at least the illusion of some kind of... something would help. When they got there, he hopped up on his desk while Lorne sat in one of the chairs. "Okay, ask. But this is all off the record, as friends."

"What's going on, John? With you and with McKay."

"We are apparently having a fundamental difference of opinion when it comes to my relative worth." John sighed. "He seems to think I should lock myself away in a tower somewhere I can never get hurt, and I believe it's my job to put myself in the line of fire so no one else has to. Have I been a bit more reckless about it than necessary lately? Yes, and I'm dealing with my issues. But I can't stop being who I am, and he's pissed at me for it, apparently."

Lorne scratched his head. "So you were arguing about your recklessness. I take it he didn't appreciate what you did on the last mission."

"No. He thinks I'm trying to kill myself. I'm not, but he's not military, and he doesn't really get that we all sign on knowing there's a certain amount of danger involved, even more so out here." John sighed. "I told him I would work on not being needlessly reckless, but that's about when the fight started. Our definition of needless is pretty different. I also don't agree with him that I'm not expendable. Frankly, your gene is just as strong as mine, pretty much, and you can run this base as well as I do. Hell, probably better. I'm not looking to be replaced, but I'm more expendable than any of the science team."

"Honestly," Lorne said with a sigh, "you are probably one of the least expendable people in the city. She…lights up for you more than anyone else. The soldiers…they will follow you anywhere. I can't say that's true for me. I know that and it's fine. But right now, they don't know how to take you…how to understand what you've been doing."

John blinked. That surprised him. "I knew they were loyal, but I didn't realize... That's humbling, and quite frankly, terrifying. I know I make mistakes, Evan. I'm not a conventional soldier, and I never have been. It's why I never rose above Major before I came here, and I have a black mark that had pretty much ensured I would spend the rest of my career flying helicopters in Antarctica. There wasn't enough evidence to discharge me, but my record is... borderline insubordinate. I always make the choices I feel are right, no matter the ultimate consequences, and that gets me in trouble more often than not. So I honestly don't understand why the men are loyal to me to that degree. Or what McKay sees that pisses him off so much when I take risks."

"Lately…lately you've been…a little crazy. Working out all the time. You've dropped more weight than you really can afford. The last mission was just the proverbial straw, John." Lorne sighed quietly. "Look, I don't want to get into it with you, but you need to figure out what the hell is going on in your head and then get it on straight again before your men really start to worry."

John made a face. "I know. And our new ninja of a psychologist pinned me down and has more or less forced me to start working on my issues. Long story short, my team is the only family I have, and the closest thing I have to any kind of real relationship. I didn't take it too well losing McKay, even temporarily." He shrugged. "I'm human. I can't make any excuses, I know I wasn't handling it well. Unfortunately, letting McKay goad me into a fight in the mess hall isn't exactly reassuring, I know."

Lorne chuckled. "I wish I was there to see it."

"I wasn't kidding when I said you'd probably be able to catch it on the intranet." John made a face. "I can only imagine what the gossip circle is making of this. Probably that I've finally totally lost it."

Before Lorne could reply a gut-wrenching wail echoed through John's head. "Daddy!!!!!"

He was probably lucky he was with Lorne since the pain ripped through his head and sent him tumbling off the desk. "R'dny. Something... the squid... in pain..."

"Yeah," Lorne said, reaching for his radio and wincing. "Got that one, too."

"Find him. Go. I'll be fine."

John could hear Lorne talking on the radio, trying to get Chuck to do a scan of the city to find McKay's life sign.

John reached out carefully, trying to find the connection he associated with Yellow, since he was most familiar with her. "What's wrong? Where are you?"

All he could get was pain and lots of it.

"Yellow! You need to tell me where you are. Where's Rodney?"

He got a mental sob. "Pier."

John was up on his feet moving. "Lorne, tell the men to track my life sign, I'm going to find McKay." He took off at a run toward the pier.

"Patrols are headed for the pier. They found the squid out there," Lorne replied. "It looks like their cry hit all of the ATA gene holders."

They were both running, and by virtue of John's office not being far from the pier, they were the first to arrive. He spotted the squid first, then McKay on the ground. "Rodney! Fuck! Get Keller out here with a med team, stat!"

"Already on the way, sir," Lorne said as they dropped down next to the Canadian.

John rolled McKay over, and immediately started checking for a pulse. The relief when he found one was almost overwhelming. He did a quick check for any signs of an allergic reaction next, but didn't find anything.

"He was angry," Yellow said quietly, his tentacle resting on John's arm.

"Damnit, McKay, if you die from a heart attack because of a fight with me, I swear to Christ I will hunt you down in the afterlife and drive you crazy for all eternity in retaliation."

"He was angry," Yellow repeated as the medical team stormed onto the pier headed for them. Keller was in the lead.

John found himself pushed out of the way as the team went to work. He picked up Yellow. "Can you tell me what happened just before he collapsed?"

"He was angry," Yellow repeated again, a little sob at the end. "We didn't like it. Hurt us."

John swallowed hard. "He'll be okay. And when he wakes up, I'll talk to him so he won't be angry anymore, okay?"

"We didn't mean it."

"Didn't mean what? He was angry with me, sweetheart, not you."

"He…it hurt us."

"His anger?" that made sense, considering how much the wail had hurt when they called for help. If Rodney was projecting something similar... He sighed and moved to gather up the rest of the squid, letting them wrap themselves around him the way they usually did Rodney. "It wasn't your fault. Any of you. I'll take you to the infirmary and we'll all sit and wait together while the doctors work, okay?"

Keller already had McKay on a stretcher and was headed to the transporter.

It took a few tries to figure out walking with four heavy squid wrapped around him, but after a few false starts he figured it out. By the time he made it to the infirmary, Keller and her team had him in the back running diagnostics, so John found a bed—a seat was out with this many seatmates—and carefully hopped up to wait.

It was nearly an hour—with Woolsey, Teyla, Radek, and Ronon hovering nearby and Keller still running tests—when Yellow finally stirred. "Daddy?"

John looked up. "I think he's waking up."

"How do you know?" Ronon asked even as John heard Keller in the treatment room.

"Rodney. You're safe. You're in the infirmary. I want you to open your eyes."

At the prodding of all four squid, John moved as quickly as he could into the next room.

Rodney was shifting on the bed, batting away Keller's penlight. "Stop."

"Hey, buddy. I have some people—squid—here who want to see you." John moved next to the bed.

"John, I need you to wait outside," Keller said, shooting him a look even as Yellow crawled onto the bed. "I'm not finished."

"They need him. And he needs them." John helped the rest of them crawl onto the bed and wrap themselves around Rodney. "They said he was angry, it was hurting them. I'm guessing it must have rebounded, maybe some kind of auto defense mechanism. Yellow said it hurt, and they're all pretty upset."

"So you need to keep them away until I can figure it out. John, don't argue with me on this." Rodney was squinting, the furrow between his eyes deep. He was still in pain.

"It's too late, Keller." John gestured to them. They're all tied together, Jennifer. They need to be touching. I'm not trying to be contrary, but while he was out, I've had them in my head, and they're suffering just as much. All five of them need to be touching. They'll move to let you get access to whatever you need though."

"You don't know that," she said, glaring at him. "You might be willing to risk your life, but I’m not willing to risk his. Get them out of here now or else I'll have my staff remove you and them."

He sighed. "I'm really not trying to get in your way here. I think they need this to get better. I think they accidentally reflected his anger back at him, only he got it four-fold. When they called for help, every ATA in the city got a massive headache, Jennifer, including me. It nearly knocked me out too. If he was getting it even worse, it's no wonder it knocked him out."

"Last time, John. I'm not going to ask again."

"I'll leave, but you won't be able to separate them." He turned to head out.

"I’m sure they'll go with you. You brought them in, take them out."

"They aren't bonded to me, Jennifer. They're bonded to him. They'll accept me as a surrogate short-term when he's not available, but not when he's awake and in pain."

She glared at him. "Out."

"I'm going."

John headed out as Keller's staff headed in. The crooning started moments later, but Purple was in the hands of one of the big nurses headed out of the treatment room.

John hopped back up on the bed in the waiting room. If the squid wanted him, or were willing to come to him, they would.

In succession, the squid were removed and placed in one of the neighboring isolation rooms. Teyla moved to the room with them, trying to calm them.

Keller was a good doctor, but she was seriously stupid sometimes. John headed into the isolation room to see if he could help calm them.

Yellow immediately headed to him, wrapping its tentacles around his legs. "Daddy," she sobbed quietly.

"I know, sweetheart." He sat on the floor so the rest of them could join Yellow. "The doctor doesn't realize how much you need him, but she'll take care of him and then you'll be able to go to him when she says it's okay."

"We're sorry."

"It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry I made him so mad it hurt all five of you."

It took hours before Keller appeared again in the door of the isolation room. "He's sleeping, finally. His senses were completely overwhelmed, but I don’t think there was any damage to his brain. He needs to keep calm and keep his blood pressure down over the next few days. No excitement."

John had fallen into a doze on the floor, and he started awake as she started talking. God, his back hurt. "Can I take them in to him now?"

"If you can guarantee they won't wake him."

"They won't, will you guys. You can go to your Daddy now, but he needs to sleep, so just cuddling for now, okay?"

"Daddy," Yellow sobbed quietly in John's head, already headed for McKay.

By the time John had managed to get to his feet, all four had gone to Rodney. John gave Keller a weak smile and headed that way himself.

As he walked in, Red was scrambling up onto the bed—the last one—as they clustered around McKay. No wonder he needed a bigger bed. The squid were huge—compared to when they first got here.

He grabbed a chair and pulled it up beside the bed, prepared to sit and wait until McKay woke up. They needed to talk and work this out before he killed all five of them.

***

When Rodney woke, his head was pounding and he was sweating. He tried to move and take a deep breath, but his body wouldn't shift, wouldn't budge and his chest felt like there was an 18-ton truck sitting on it.

He knew the symptoms. He was having a heart attack.

He heard rapid beeping somewhere as he tried to claw his way past the pain in his head and what he knew was going to be a massive coronary incident.

"Hey, calm down. It's okay. Guys, you're smothering him, move off his chest."

Sheppard? Why was Sheppard here? He tried to take another deep breath, but he couldn't get any air. It felt like his heart was constricting in his chest.

Suddenly, a weight shifted off, and then another. "There, that should be better."

He tried to take another breath and this time he could, the cool air rushing in, the panic receding slightly.

"They were pretty upset last night, so I think they were trying to get as close as possible. Sorry about that. I was keeping them off your chest, but I must have fallen asleep."

Rodney managed to turn his head and tried blinking open his eyes. The light hurt and he squinted, trying to figure out where he was and why Sheppard was there. "Wha—" he started only to cough because his throat was so dry. The coughing, though, flared pain in his head.

"Easy." Sheppard's hands were on him, helping him sit up a bit. A straw was put to his lips. "Have some water, that will help."

He took a sip, the water soothing his throat. Sheppard pulled it away after Rodney took a few more sips and shifted, leaning back into the pillows. He was in the infirmary with all kinds of wires and leads attached to him. "What happened?"

"Well, as far as I've been able to put together, you were so pissed at me, your anger started to hurt the squid. I think you might have triggered an instinctive defense or something, because I think they started reflecting it back in self defense and you couldn't take it, so you, in essence, overloaded and passed out. All four of them have been near comatose with grief that they hurt you, and they keep saying it was an accident."

Rodney blinked up at him, trying to process what Sheppard had told him. If the headache he had was any indication, he couldn't imagine it being much worse. He glanced down, catching four sets of eyes staring up at him. "An accident."

"We didn't mean it, Daddy. You were hurting us, and you wouldn't stop, so we couldn't stop. We're sorry, Daddy!"

Pain flared with their words. "Just…quieter, okay."

"Sorry." This was more of a whisper across his mind.

"Better," Rodney said with a small smile before turning back to Sheppard. "Why are you here?"

"You're my friend, Rodney. We might have argued, but that doesn't mean I don't worry about you. You collapsed on the pier because you were so pissed off at me. I never would have forgiven myself if..."

Rodney sighed, closing his eyes for a long moment. The squid tightened their grip on him and continued to send him soft, calming thoughts. "I guess we did get a little…out of hand."

John snorted. "A little? We were screaming at each other in the mess hall." Rodney heard a soft sigh. "I get what you were saying, Rodney. I don't devalue myself or my contribution to the city. I know I'm not expendable, but I also need you to understand that to do my job to the best of my ability, it means I have to take risks sometimes. But I always weigh the pros and cons, and most of the time, I have faith in my team and my people to pull a miracle out if things get more out of hand than I think they will."

"But you—" Rodney started, but his head flared in pain and he broke off. "Apparently, getting riled up is not an option right now."

A cold cloth was suddenly against his forehead. "Keller said this might help with the headache when you woke up. And I'm not trying to rile you up. I… I understand where you're coming from. I do. I don't take risks because I like it, or because I have a death wish. Granted, the last mission was an exception, but it was a one-time anomaly I don't plan to repeat. But I also can't sit in my office and never go off-world because it's too dangerous. I couldn't be an effective leader if I did that."

"Thanks," Rodney said, letting the coolness seep into his head as he listened to Sheppard. He didn't have much choice given his position. It wasn't like he could run away. "I just…" he started, the pain flaring slightly, but he continued despite it. "You've been more reckless than usual and it scares me."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I let myself get out of hand because I didn't want to deal with some other issues. But I'm dealing with them now." He sighed. "I'm human, Rodney. I know I behaved badly the last few months. I couldn't deal with everything losing you on my team stirred up, so I got reckless to try and bury it. Was it idiotic? Yes. All I can do now is try to fix the damage and promise I'll try to recognize in the future when my head is coming unscrewed before it gets to that point."

Rodney snorted. "And the jealousy thing?"

He felt John shift. "When it comes to you, I honestly don't know why I can't keep my emotions under control. It's like you got under my skin and past my walls. I've never had anyone do that, and I'm having a hard time sorting it all out. But I am working on it, I promise. The ninja wouldn't have it any other way."

Rodney reached out, lifting a corner of the cloth so he could look at Sheppard. "You know, you used to spend more time in the labs and hang out more. Just because I have…squid doesn't mean I won't spend time doing things. It's just…different. I need a little more time to plan."

"I know." He gave Rodney a tired smile. "And that's my fault. I suck at this, McKay. Badly. It's why I've never allowed anyone to get close to me. Hell, not even my ex-wife. It used to piss her off to no end that I always kept a wall between us. I married her for the wrong reasons, though, so she never really stood a chance."

Rodney snorted quietly. "John Sheppard, the non-communicator. No wonder she divorced you."

"She thought she could change me. She pursued me, even when I put her off, and she proposed to me. I said yes because it was easier, not because I wanted to. She had some idea that she could turn me into the perfect husband, but when I continued to put flying ahead of her and wouldn't let her get past the surface, she finally gave it up. I think that lasted like six months."

"No surprise there."

"Yeah, it wasn't to me either. I think it honestly was for her though. I think she had some kind of ideal in her head she was in love with, but that wasn't me." He shrugged. "I don't even know if it was love. I think she just wanted to be a military wife. But since I never went to those events either, she really got nothing out of the deal."

"What, she wanted to try out for the Army Wives show or something," Rodney said with a snort and a roll of his eye. "What time is it anyway? How long have I been in here?"

"It's early morning. Most of the city is still asleep. They didn't think you would wake up until a bit later."

"Oh." He pressed the cloth to his eyes again for a moment before finally pulling it off. "Think I can get some coffee?"

Sheppard gave him a small grin. "Let me see what I can find. I'll get in trouble if they catch me, but I'll do my best."

"Thanks," he said with a smile, watching as Sheppard stole quietly out of the room leaving him with the squid. "So. I guess we found out how you defend yourselves."

They were all radiating unhappiness. "We're sorry, Daddy. We didn't mean to hurt you. We couldn't stop it."

"Whisper," he said wincing slightly.

"Sorry." It was another soft, almost caress.

"It's okay. My head still hurts and the louder you talk at me the more it hurts. It'll get better."

Yellow crawled up, and he felt her in his mind, and it was… soothing. Like she was fixing all the raw places. "Better?" she whispered.

He nodded, his eyes drifting closed as some of the pain simply faded. "God yes…" He could feel his body relaxing.

The squid all snuggled up as close as they could get. "Love you, Daddy."

"Yeah," he said as whatever Yellow was doing with his brain made everything…mushy. He knew he should probably be worried, but right now the quickly receding pain was all that mattered.

***

                 

Over the next few days, John worked hard to start fixing some of the damage. He continued to see the ninja, and he made a point of being seen eating in the mess at least once a day.

He was getting antsy though. This forced inaction was driving him nuts, but since being nuts was what got him here in the first place, he was working hard to control it.

He was sitting on the side of the pier wondering how the surfing was on the mainland, and who he could bribe to take him over there—or let him have access to the Jumpers again—when he heard someone clear their throat behind him.

He turned in just enough time to get a face-full of Yellow. "Ah…hi," McKay said quietly. John caught the tail end of his wave when he finally moved Yellow to the side so he could see and breathe.

John grinned. "Hi. Have a seat. The view is spectacular."

"Thanks," McKay said, shuffling over to sit next to John. He was in jeans and sneakers. It was weird not to see him in his usual science uniform. "The rest of the squid are in the labs helping Radek. Apparently he speaks squid."

Laughing, John shook his head. "I don't think there's a language yet Radek doesn't speak."

"I guess," he said with a smile that encompassed both John and Yellow. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah. Restless, but okay. I hate being inactive for this long, but I know why I am, so I'm trying not to let my boredom get out of hand." John chuckled.

"Oh god, have you started building things in the unsettled parts of the city yet?"

That startled a full laugh out of him. "Not yet, but close. I figured that might be seen as a step back if I started building a Ferris wheel on the pier. What about you? They won't let me in the labs while I'm on leave, otherwise I would have come and played light switch for a while. How are things going?"

McKay shrugged. "I can't believe you married someone with that laugh of yours. It can scare small animals away," he said, a half-smile softening his words. "Radek won't let me back in the labs yet, but the squid are allowed in. They're spying for me anyway, so it's good. Keller said the headache should finally be gone later today."

"You know Radek won't let anyone blow up the lab while you're gone."

"I know, but it's still my lab."

John laughed again softly. "At least the headache is almost gone. Keller was afraid it would take a lot longer."

"I know. I was worried, too." McKay shrugged. "I think I'm tired of sleeping, though. I never thought I would ever say that."

"I know what you mean. I used napping to help pass the time at first, but I just couldn't sleep anymore. Which is why I'm out here. I figure if I'm going to be bored out of my skull, I might as well have a nice view for it."

McKay chuckled quietly. "Yeah. I understand. Yellow wanted to say hi so we decided to wander out this way."

"I've missed her." John smiled as she curled up. "I had forgotten how nice it was to have a warm body curled against me at night until she crawled in bed with me."

"They remind me of my cat. Granted, they have no hair and they're a lot larger, but yeah… kind of the same."

"Exactly." John leaned back so he was propped on his elbows, legs still dangling off the side of the pier. "Just that feeling of having someone—or thing—that actually wants to sleep next to you, and loves you no matter what you do or say. I kind of wish we could have pets out here."

"You know the rules and regulations. And god-forbid Woolsey bend one of them a little. I still think he's having conniption fits about the squid."

"Yeah, if there wasn't so much else going on, he'd probably still be trying to find ways to separate you."

"Maybe. I think he's just getting used to them. I would have loved to have been on that call to explain why I had four squid living with me." McKay chuckled lightly. "So…the time in bed has got me thinking…you know about the jealousy thing and your man crush."

John shot him a look. "I don't have a man crush. You have to stop calling it that."

"Why? I call it like I see it."

"Because that's so… girly."

"I refuse to use bromance."

"No. Why do you need to label it? Why can't we just say I was a little jealous and leave it at that?"

"Because it's more than just…that." McKay turned, narrowing his eyes at him. "Isn't it? You don't get…jealous at squid because you miss hanging out with someone."

John resisted the urge to squirm, but from the look in Rodney's eyes, he had a feeling he hadn't been too successful. "Even if it was, I can't do anything about it. Not and keep my job, so it's a moot point."

"So that's it, end of story?"

Leaning his head back, John looked up at the sky. "What else is there? You're my best friend, Rodney. I already went nuts when I just didn't get to hang out with you as much. I don't know how well I'd take it if I lost even that."

"I guess that depends on you," Rodney said. John could feel his gaze on him. "Do you want it to be something…else?"

Despite himself, John felt his breath hitch. Given he was currently shirtless and more or less splayed out, he doubted Rodney missed it. "What if it was, and someone found out?"

"I don't have an issue with it, but I know for you it's more…complicated."

John swallowed. "I know even on leave you still hack the servers. So tell me the truth. After the whole thing in the mess, how many people on the base already assume we are…more?"

Rodney chuckled quietly. "Honestly, I checked my email once. The headache didn't allow for much else and I don't ever listen to rumors, so I have no idea. Ask Lorne."

"Right after he and I had a talk, and I kind of got the feeling he thought it was something that spilled out of places he didn't want to ask about, and I wasn't about to tell him about."

"Right. So…where does this leave us?"

John swallowed again. "I guess it means that… Hell, I suck at this. Do you really want that? I can guarantee you I will be clueless and probably jealous and god only knows what else."

"Have you ever?"

"Driven people away because of stupidity? I've been doing that my whole life."

McKay sighed loudly. "No, not that. The other…thing. You know." His hands waved in some kind of weird and obscene manner.

John felt the flush running all the way down his chest. Damn. "Ah. Um. No? I mean, I don't think a few hurried hand jobs in a supply closet count."

"Is this something you even want?" McKay asked, sounding a little…exasperated.

This was officially the most awkward conversation John had ever had. He had a feeling he looked like he was sunburned. "I might have been, um, getting off, thinking about it, lately."

"You might have? God, John, do you even know what you want?"

With another swallow, John decided to do what was probably the bravest step he had ever taken. He opened his eyes and looked at Rodney. "You. I want… you. I just… I'm not good at this, and I don't want to hurt you again."

Rodney snorted. "Well, then we probably shouldn't even try because I know you're going to do something stupid at some point."

John gave him a small smile. "As long as you know that going in, that I suck at relationships and you don't hold that against me..."

"Ditto."

"So."

"I'm not going to jump you if that's what you're worried about."

"I might be disappointed about that, actually."

"We're not exactly somewhere…private you know."

"True. So. If we're going to continue this conversation, we should probably go somewhere less public."

"I guess that depends on how you want this conversation to proceed," Rodney said quietly. "We can change the subject, too."

John licked his lips. "I… don't want to change the subject. I've never really done this, but I've also never… let anyone this close. But if you want to change the subject… have you ever? You know?"

"I'm a scientist. Of course I have. You need to be able to compare and contrast and draw your own conclusions."

"So would you be interested in… conducting a few experiments with me?"

Rodney chuckled. "I think that was the reason for this whole conversation."

"Right. Because you brought it up." John let himself, for the first time—at least that he was willing to admit—really check out his friend. He felt his body responding, and he knew in his current position, with the thin sweats he had on, Rodney would be able to see it.

"You know, staying here any longer with you like that might not be a good idea. Sunburn and all."

"Yeah. I'm already feeling a bit warm."

"Yellow," Rodney said as he rose to his feet. "I need you to go and stay with Radek for a while. Don't ask me why, it's just important that you do this. I'll let you know when you can come home. Okay?"

Yellow looked confused. "Okay, Daddy. Everything fine?"

"I think everything will be very fine."

"Okay."

Rodney smiled at her. "You can walk back to the city with us if you want."

She bounced around, as John climbed to his feet. He couldn't believe they were going to do it. Go back to the room and… have sex. God. John licked his lips.

"Nothing has to happen today, John," Rodney said quietly as they moved back to the city. "We could just…see where it goes."

"I know." John gave him a quick smile. "I just feel like a girl going to the prom, knowing she's going to get to do illicit things for the first time."

"Oh god, not in front of the kids."

John chuckled.

The rest of the way back to the city was done in silence, John's stomach doing weird things as they got closer to their destination. Rodney sent Yellow off to the labs once they were inside at a transporter before they headed to Rodney's room—or mini apartment.

Once they were in, and the door was closed, John wasn't sure what to do. Should he kiss him? Touch him? Who made the first move when there was no girl?

"Want to put on a movie?"

That wasn't what he was expecting, but he nodded. "Okay." He moved to the couch and debated where to sit. On the side? In the middle? God, he was so fucked up. He finally just sat down in the middle, disgusted with himself.

"Just relax. I'm not going to do anything," Rodney said with a quiet exasperation. "Relax. This will go or not go today. We're just here to see what happens nothing more."

"I know. I know, it's just… honestly, it's not even all the guy thing. I haven't actually had sex in like eight years. I know you think I've been sleeping my way across the galaxy, but yeah. I sort of have performance anxiety."

Rodney snorted. "One word: Chaya."

"That wasn't sex. It was coerced glowy… sharing. There was no touching, no kissing, no real physical anything."

"The princess from that alter-Atlantis planet."

"She came to my room and stripped, but I wasn't interested. She tried, I'll give her that, but there was no way in hell I was going to sleep with her. She reminded me too much of my ex-wife."

"Norina."

John rolled his eyes. "I didn't sleep with any of them. I know you thought I did, but I didn't. I'm not saying they didn't try to get me into bed with them, but sleeping around lost its appeal a long time ago, and I do know how much trouble it could cause if I started sleeping with aliens."

Rodney brought over two bottles of water and sank down on the couch next to John handing him one. "There is no way that you've not had sex since we got here. That's statistically impossible."

"Actually, I haven't had sex since just before the whole incident in Afghanistan that led to the black mark and exile to Antarctica."

"Right. Like I actually believe that."

"I haven't. I know you think I'm some kind of sex stud, but I'm really not."

"But look at you!" Rodney said, gesturing toward John's body. "Men and women fall all over themselves as soon as you walk into a room."

John shifted. "That makes me really uncomfortable, to tell you the truth."

"You're like some kind of sex god. I find that disturbing. And I'm very envious if you must know the truth. I'm a good looking man, but next to you I can't hold a candle."

"I'm not a sex god. Seriously." John felt the blush starting again. "I don't really like when people try to touch me all the time. You're the first person I've actually wanted to touch me in a long time."

Rodney shifted next to him, his hand resting on John's thigh near his knee. "Are you sure about that?

It was… really nice. John nodded. "I'm sure."

"Okay, good," Rodney said, reaching out with his other hand to shove a DVD in the laptop drive. "Iron Man, okay?"

John blinked, dragging his brain back to movies. "Yes. Okay. At least the science in this one makes sense, sort of. You could totally build me an Iron Man suit if you wanted to. Which would be seriously awesome, by the way."

Rodney snorted as he settled in next to John, really close to John. "You think I haven't considered it?"

"It would solve the problem of me getting hurt as much when I have to do something you don't like. Plus, the ability to fly. Seriously cool." John put his arm round Rodney.

"But we can't have you being even more reckless if you think you're indestructible," Rodney said, shifting again, his hand hitching up higher on John's leg.

"Mmmm, true. I have to admit, I'd be tempted to try and take out a hive ship by myself. So maybe it's better this way." Swallowing, John leaned a little more into Rodney's space. He smelled good.

"So movie?"

"Yeah." John took a deep breath and decided to say screw it. When Rodney turned his head to look at him, John closed the distance and, very softly, brushed his lips over Rodney's.

It was…weird and nice and strange all at the same time. Rodney's lips were soft—softer than he though they should be and the way he kissed back—slow and gentle was so different than from what he expected.

John leaned further in, his tongue darting out for a little taste.

Rodney let out a weird amused huff and tilted his head to the side and pressed in, deepening the kiss.

John couldn't stop the moan. It was… no kiss had ever felt like this. Rodney tasted like coffee and chocolate and… Rodney.

He backed off a few moments later, grinning up at John. "So. I wasn't expecting that."

John licked his lips, chasing the flavor. "I was tired of being nervous about it. Figured I would break the ice." John reached out to cup Rodney's face. "Better than expected. And I expected a lot."

"And here I was going to…ease you into it. Movie. A little necking maybe. But no. You had to just…do your reckless thing."

John grinned. "You know me, I just can't help rushing into dangerous situations." He leaned in and kissed Rodney again, pulling back when they were both breathless. "And you are so very, very dangerous in all the right ways."

Rodney shifted on the couch next to him. "So, we have this movie running…"

"Necking during movies is a time-tested tradition."

"Is it now?"

"Definitely."

"And this is something you might be interested in?"

"I never start something unless I intend to finish it, McKay."

"Oh really?" Rodney asked, his eyes widening a little, the black of his eyes widening in arousal. It was interesting to see those changes in his friend.

John swallowed hard. Hell, he was hard, and all they had done was a little light kissing. "Yup. What about you, Rodney? Are you going to finished what you started?"

"I don't know, it all depends on how the…experiment goes. I can't have it…blowing up in my face now can I? That wouldn't be responsible of me."

"True, but no risk, no reward, right?"

"Mmm, I'm not sure about that."

"You'll never know if you don't try."

Rodney snorted quietly, a smile on his face. "You know there's an awful lot of talking going on and very little movie watching."

"Whose fault is that? I wanted to neck and watch Iron Man." John grinned at him.

"Right, sure you did. You were about ready to jump out of your skin," he said, his hand shifting a little higher on John's leg.

"Nervous I'll do something wrong doesn't mean I don't want to try." John took Rodney's hand and moved it all the way up, where the other man could feel how interested he was.

"Oh…well," Rodney said, swallowing hard as he looked down at their hands. "This is new."

John shifted his hips up. "God, it's been so long since anyone other than me touched my dick. Feels good..."

"Let's…take this slow. Okay?"

"Yeah. I want to savor." God, it really had been so long. Just feeling someone other than his own hand touching him that way… God.

"I'm not a side of beef, you know," Rodney said, shifting on the couch, his hand squeezing a little.

Moaning, John arched a little. "Know… you're… not. So much better. God… So much better." He leaned in to catch Rodney's mouth in another kiss.

This time John got a small moan from Rodney as they kissed. It was even better this time.

When they broke again, John was panting. "If this feels this amazing going slow, doing it naked is going to be fucking amazing."

Rodney looked at him and just started laughing. "God. This is going to be one interesting ride."

John grinned. "A long, interesting ride. I don't think I'm going to be able to let you go, McKay."

"I guess we'll find out," Rodney said as he turned, his hands cupping John's face as he leaned in again, this time for a deep kiss John swore he could feel down to his toes.

All he could do was open up and let Rodney in. Let him have everything.

"Okay…" Rodney said after several minutes, resting his forehead against John's and panting. "I’m going to ruin my back like this. Screw the couch. We're going to the bed now." He rose and tugged John with him impatiently.

Laughing, John let himself be pulled up, offering no resistance. "They don't call you a genius for nothing."

"And there is going to be much less…stuff in the way."

"Also a good plan."

"We don't have all night. I can only keep the squid away for so long."

"Who knew it would take four telepathic squid to bring us to this point. We live seriously weird lives. And I'm already shirtless, so you have to start stripping first. It's only fair."

"Oh, is it?" Rodney asked with a smirk as they finally made it into the bedroom.

"Yes. Definitely. In the interest of being fair and equal."

"Well, then, I think you need to do something about it. I mean, if it's something you want. I'm not going to do all the work here."

Biting at his lip, John stepped closer and fingered the hem of Rodney's shirt. When he didn't object, John pulled it off and tossed it aside, pausing to look at his friend and soon to be lover. "God, you're really pretty. I had noticed, but I never really admitted that I noticed. You know?"

He shivered slightly, his nipples perking up. "Guys are not pretty," he said with a glare.

"You are." John stepped closer and with a soft touch, ran a finger along Rodney's chest. "You have the most amazing eyes, and your hands…"

"I am not pretty," Rodney said, a small moan escaping as John ran a finger over a nipple.

"Mmmm. You like this?" John ran a firmer finger over the nipple, twirling a few circles around it.

"Ah…yeah, more than I should. They have a mind of their own…always have."

John purred and leaned in to drag his tongue over one. He had always had a thing for nipples.

"God," Rodney sighed, shuddering and shoving John away slightly. "Okay, right. Why did you have to be such a quick study? Bed. Now."

Chuckling, John shimmied out of his sweatpants and sat on the bed.

Rodney stood there for a long moment, just looking at him, a slack-jawed expression on his face. It was rare that Rodney McKay was ever speechless.

John licked his lips. "Is the staring a good or bad thing?"

Rodney glanced away quickly, a slight blush staining his cheeks. "It's just that this is something I never thought I ever would get and it's a little…overwhelming that you're here like this," he said, gesturing toward John. "I keep wanting to pinch myself to wake up, but at the same time I don't want the dream to end."

"You could strip and join me."

"And see, that's just something you would say…in my dream." The red deepened on his cheeks, spreading down toward his chest.

"You dreamed about me?" John was naked and so really couldn't hide how much that kind of turned him on.

"Okay, right, let's just move on to something else besides talking about that," Rodney said, reaching for the buttons on his pants. "Naked. You wanted me naked, right?"

"Yes. Very naked." John decided to see if he could put that slack look on Rodney's face again, so he leaned back and splayed his legs, stroking himself slowly.

It worked perfectly. Rodney's eyes widened, his jaw dropped, and his hands immediately stopped moving as he took everything in.

"Come on, McKay. You're supposed to be a great multi-tasker." John grinned. It was a heady experience to be the one to derail that massive brain.

Rodney sputtered a few times before he started tugging off his pants. "It's not my fault when you keep….flashing all that…body…too thin body. I'm probably going to get stab wounds from your hip bones."

"It's not my hipbones I want to stab you with." Okay, John knew it was unbelievably corny, but he couldn't resist.

That stopped Rodney again, but this time his look was a cross between surprise, amusement, and revulsion. "Okay. It's official. No really bad jokes. Totally ruins the mood."

John laughed. "Admit it, you thought it was funny."

"I will admit no such thing," he said, pulling off his pants and boxers. He turned and stood up straight, his hands on his hips. "In fact, I should make it a rule in the bedroom."

John stopped paying attention, since he was riveted. Rodney's body was… amazing. John finally let himself admit how much he wanted another man. That he had probably always found men attractive but hadn't ever let himself go there. His mouth was dry, and he just wanted to touch.

"What? Do I have something on me? Is there a bug or something crawling on me?" He immediately started moving around, trying to find the invisible lint.

"You're just… amazing. God… Just… Wow. Beautiful."

"Okay," Rodney said with a scowl. "I'm a guy and beautiful and pretty are not adjectives which are allowed."

"But you are." John swallowed hard. "Come here. I want to touch you."

Rodney shifted forward, climbing up on the bed—huge bed!—next to John. "You do know I'm not really expecting you to do anything you're not comfortable with, right?"

"I know. So lay down and let me play." John pushed him down and straddled him. "Right now, I just want to touch you."

Rodney chuckled lightly, but moaned as John shifted his weight letting it settle on his thighs. "God," he said, wiggling a little under John. "If I'm going to die from sensory overload, this is the way to go."

"No dying today. Just pleasure." John ran his fingers over Rodney's nipples again, then palmed him down his sides.

"John…" Rodney moaned, shivering under John's touch. His cock was curled in toward his stomach, the tip dripping cum.

John ran a finger lightly along Rodney's cock and then carefully wrapped a hand around it. "Is this okay?"

"Oh god yes, very okay," he said a little breathlessly.

"Good." John smiled. He tried a few different angles and grips before he found one that felt natural to try stroking Rodney slowly.

Rodney's fingers were clenched into the mattress, fingertips turning in as his entire body shuddered as John stroked him.

"Good?" John asked softly.

"Ohgodyes."

John hummed. He stopped stroking and carefully laid himself out across Rodney's body. "I want to try naked kissing now."

Rodney moaned, bucking up into John's body. "Yeah, that's good," he said before pushing John off to the side, rolling so they were face to face.

John dove in and captured Rodney's mouth, feeling more confident now.

The kissing was…awesome. Rodney's free hand wandered over his skin—along his side and ass, stroking him. Fingers would dig in every now and then as the kiss got intense.

Suddenly, their cocks just seemed to line up, and naked kissing took on a whole new level.

Rodney hooked a leg over John's, tugging them closer.

After that, John stopped being able to catalog individual sensations. It all just blurred together into a massive pleasure eruption.

His climax actually snuck up on him.

He felt Rodney shudder through one, and then they both panted against each other's shoulders. "Wow."

"Yeah…" Rodney said a few moments later as he curled in toward John.

"If naked kissing was that good. Damn. We have some seriously hot sex to catch up on."

"Might actually explode or something, though," Rodney panted, his breath drifting across John's damp skin.

"Mmmm, I don't think you can die from orgasms."

"Never…never know," Rodney said, his body starting to melt against John's.

John curled in closer, pulling Rodney against him even tighter. "If you could, talk about a way to go, though."

Rodney snorted quietly. "Right. If it's all the same to you, I'd rather live."

"Me, too. So we can have more insanely good orgasms."

"I'm just waiting for the morning freak-out."

"I've had a lot of time on my hands to think about it. I got all that out of my system in advance."

"Thinking and doing are two very different things." Rodney sighed quietly. "Okay. We should probably shower. The squid want to come home."

John chuckled. "You know they were probably in your head the whole time eavesdropping."

"I'm trying not to think about that."

Laughing, John sat up and held a hand out to pull Rodney up as well. "They were all very concerned that you weren't happy." He stepping in closer and gave Rodney another kiss, amazed he could do this now. "I hope to change that."

"I'm more concerned with them walking in on us and I don't think I could deal with that right now. So. Shower and then clothes." He paused forehead scrunching. "And we're quickly running out of time. Come on." He dragged John into the bathroom. The water clicked on as soon as they were through the door.

They got in the shower together, and John snuck in a few more chances to touch.

"Come on, there's no time for that," Rodney grumbled as he handed John a facecloth and the soap. He picked up the shampoo bottle and started washing his hair.

John gave him a small smile and took the bottle, quickly getting himself clean. If there was one thing a career military man could do, it was shower fast. So he was done before Rodney.

John was out of the shower drying off when he heard the first thump come from the living room. It was quickly followed by Rodney's, "Oh nonononono."

John wrapped the towel around his waist and walked out. "Hey guys."

The squid were…bouncing. Various Post-It Notes asked questions about him and Rodney. "Are you our new Daddy?", "Are you staying?", "Why are you naked?", "Where are you sleeping now?", "How did you make Daddy so happy?", "Why are you so hairy?"—among others.

John blinked. "Okay, one at a time. Blue, you go first. One question, and then you have to let someone else ask. We'll go around in circles until everyone has had all their questions answered."

There was a flurry of activity for a moment and then his question was raised up. "Why are you naked?"

"Because I just took a shower. Red, you're next."

"Why are you so hairy?"

John looked down. "I don't think I'm any hairier than any other man, but it's just a product of genetics I suppose. Yellow?"

"But you're hairier than Daddy."

John glanced back at Red. "I won't count that as a question. Every person is different from every other person. It's what makes us unique and special. Now let Yellow ask her question."

"Why did you take a shower in Daddy's bathroom?"

John shrugged. "Because I got messy here, so it makes sense to clean up here, doesn't it?"

"How did you get messy?"

He hesitated with that one. He knew Rodney didn't want to give the birds and the bees speech. "Your Daddy and I got messy making each other happy."

Four different tentacles and notes went up. "Yes. We know."

He smiled. "So, your Daddy and I were making each other happy, got messy, and then decided to clean up. That clears it all up, right?"

Four tentacles flashed four "No" notes at him.

He sat down on the couch, careful to make sure he didn't flash anyone. "Okay, then. Purple, I think it was your turn."

There was a long pause and then Purple waved his question. "Are you naked under the towel?"

John blinked. "Yes. I just got out of the shower, and I haven't had a chance to find clean clothes yet."

Red was back waving another note. "Why not?"

"Well, you guys got back a little faster than we thought, and your Daddy was still in the shower, so I just came on out."

Four more notes. "You showered with Daddy?"

"Yes, sharing a shower was faster than one of us having to wait. I just shower faster than he does because I've spent so many years in the military using community showers."

"Having fun yet?" Rodney asked as he stepped into the room, fully dressed.

John glanced over, taking a moment to admire. "We're playing 20 questions."

Rodney snorted. "Yeah, I heard. You know they're not going to give up until you tell them to stop."

"Well, I figured you could take over while I go put on clothes, since apparently my being naked under the towel is one of the issues. Speaking of which, can I borrow some clothes?"

Rodney paused for a moment, a weird look passing over his face. "Ah…what's wrong with yours? You came here in clothes."

"Which are dirty, and I'm clean."

"You didn't…come in them. They're fine."

"They're sweaty and dirty. I hate putting dirty clothes on after I've showered."

"Then you should of thought of that before. And besides, my clothes won't fit you."

John looked at him. "Yes they would, and why is it a big deal? I'll give them back."

"People will know!" he hissed.

"I thought we already established that they've all thought we were together since pretty much as soon as we walked through the gate the first time."

"It's your career," Rodney replied and John could hear the unmentioned 'you idiot' added to the end.

John sighed. "All right, I'll put my dirty, smelly clothes back on. But if you won't let me wear your clothes after a shower, I'm moving stuff in here."

"Ah…really?"

"Yes, really. I hate putting on dirty clothes after a shower, so if you won't let me wear yours, I'm moving some stuff in here to put on."

"So…ah…you want to do that more?"

John blinked. "You don't? I was sort of under the impression it was going to be an ongoing and long term sort of thing."

"I'm just still expecting a freak out."

"I've been freaking out and almost killing myself for weeks now because I didn't want to acknowledge how much it bothered me that I didn't have you all to myself, or why I even cared about that. I think it's all out of my system now."

Rodney offered a tentative smile. "Well, I'm sure there's enough of me to go around."

"And I don't mind sharing when I get to have you in my bed." John stepped in and pressed a kiss to Rodney's lips. "I meant it. I've done a lot of thinking. It took me a long time to admit I was having issues, and even longer to admit what the problem was. But now…"

Rodney slid his hands around John's waist and tugged him closer. "But now…"

"Now I know what I want, and I'm not going to let it go. Unless you kick me to the curb, you're sort of stuck with me."

"No, no curb kicking," he said leaning in.

"Good." John ghosted his lips over Rodney's again.

Rodney hummed, pressing in closer. He tilted his head to the side and swiped his tongue along John's bottom lip before closing the distance once again.

"What are you doing?" The chorus filled John's head, and from the way Rodney jerked, he had a feeling it had been directed at both of them. They had forgotten about the squid.

Rodney groaned and leaned his forehead against John's shoulder. "Talking to John."

"You were licking each other. Do you taste good?" Blue moved closer and had a determined sort of feel to him. A moment later, John felt a… lick?… across his leg that dragged to Rodney.

"Hey! Stop that!"

"Trying to figure out why you're licking each other, Daddy."

"It's something you can do when you're older."

"Why?"

"Because I'm older and I know better and I said so."

"Do you have to be naked to lick each other?"

"We were kissing, and that's something you can learn about when you're older."

"What's kissing?"

Rodney sighed and started to step back away from John. "Okay, are you guys hungry? I'm thinking it's time for dinner."

John got the edges of a grumble about the end of question time, but they all took off for the kitchen anyway. He took the opportunity to put his clothes back on before wandering in to join them.

Rodney was making something in the Ancient's microwave/oven contraption and talking to the squid about their day. It was weird to hear the one-sided questions, but it was obvious they were communicating both ways from the way Rodney was posing his questions and replying.

It was… domestic. And nice. John leaned against the wall and just watched.

Rodney glanced his way after a while, his eyes widening. "Oh. You need a shirt."

"I was out getting a tan earlier, remember. And you don't want me wearing your clothes."

"I can find something…non-descript. I can't have the masses mauling you."

John felt a grin curling his lips. "Are you getting jealous over the thought of someone else seeing me shirtless?"

"I…just think, it's better for everyone if you're not showing your…" Rodney's hand waved at him, "…to everyone."

"Showing my what?" John looked down. "All the private parts are covered."

"Just…" Rodney made a face and stomped into the bedroom. After several drawers opened and closed he appeared, shoving a familiar black t-shirt into John's hands. "Here and I want no comments from you about it."

John felt a grin starting to stretch across his face. "You have one of my t-shirts?"

"I said not a word."

John pulled the shirt on, still grinning. "How did you even get it? I'm usually pretty good about keeping track of them."

Rodney was quiet for a few minutes, as he finished giving the squid the rest of their dinner. "Remember the time when we were on the planet with all of the blue flowers and we had to stay overnight? Well, you left the shirt behind when you were packing up and I grabbed it and I just…" He shrugged.

John blinked. "You've had my t-shirt for what… almost two years? Christ, I really am oblivious, aren't I?"

Rodney shrugged. "I wasn't exactly going to…wave the flag."

Pulling up a chair, John sat down and watched the squid eat. "You know, I really didn't have a clue. When you had to stop going on missions with us… I honestly didn't know why I was so pissed off. I like the squid. I like you. It's not like I wasn't seeing you… It took a while to figure out. And a ninja doctor."

"Can we talk about this another time? I think I'm just about all shared out for today."

"Yeah. Or never. We could agree that over sharing time is done, and just do the nonverbal thing."

Rodney nodded. "Yeah. Maybe. But I won't say never because we both know how that goes."

John nodded. "And ninja doctors. He's fucking sneaky."

"And let's not discuss him either. Deal?"

"Deal."

***

**Six Months Later**

Rodney stood in Woolsey's office, his arms crossed over his chest, his body nearly vibrating with anger and frustration. "What do you mean they can't stay any longer? They want to stay. They're useful—even more useful than some of my staff."

"The whole point, Doctor McKay, was that in one year's time they would return to the planet and you would return to active missions. It has been a year."

"And I can return to missions. They're old enough that it's not an issue. They want to stay."

Woolsey let out a breath. "Doctor McKay. As much as your squid are liked on this base, they are not part of the mission team. They are not scientists with degrees, nor are they soldiers."

"And yet they're more useful than some of the scientists and the soldiers. They can do things we can't, get into places we can't. They know the risks. They live in Pegasus. They understand what it means to be part of the city. They can talk to all of the ATA gene carriers now and those without the gene get the Post-It notes."

"And to date, this has all been under your direct supervision. What will happen when you're off-world?"

"They've been on their own more and more over the past several months. They know their routines and they know who to listen to."

Woolsey shook his head. "I know you have faith in their abilities, Doctor McKay, but I can't say I have the same confidence. We both know they are never far from you mentally, so even if they are working away from you, they are still under your supervision, which is why I allowed them the access. With you off-world, however, they will be completely unsupervised."

"They'll report to the various department heads, just like anyone else."

"And how can we be sure, without you here to control them, that they won't damage or break something vital. I'm afraid this is too big of a security risk, Doctor McKay."

"Because I know they won't!" Rodney clenched his fists, determined not to leap over the desk to punch or throttle Woolsey.

"And yet you haven't offered me anything concrete to prove that assertion, Doctor."

"What do you want, a written affidavit?"

Woolsey sighed. "If you can get signed statements from all the department heads stating they will take responsibility for the squid when you are not around, I'll consider it."

"Fine," Rodney said tightly.

Woolsey nodded. "When you have the documents, we can revisit this conversation. Is there anything else?"

"No. Nothing."

"Very well." Woolsey turned back to his computer.

Rodney gritted his teeth as he turned to leave, determined not to say anything that might change Woolsey's mind. Now, Rodney knew assholes. Hell, on most occasions he was an asshole, but Woolsey was taking it to a whole other level when it came to the squid.

John was waiting around a corner, leaning against a wall. "So, according to the squid, that didn't go well."

"No, it didn't go well," Rodney replied, knowing it was useless to complain about the squids' eavesdropping. He'd learned early on that it was pointless to keep anything from John because the squid always told him and when he did try to keep something from John, the man got testy and wouldn't put out.

Pushing off the wall, John fell into step beside him. "So what's the next step? They mentioned something about needing notes? They weren't very clear by that point because they're all upset."

"I have to get…written confirmations from every department head they interface with during the day saying that they'll…keep an eye out for the squid so they don't get into trouble when I'm on a mission. Hell, some of them see them more than I do lately."

"Well, that should be easy enough. They're as anxious to keep them as we are. And Radek is looking forward to staying in the city again, and he loves them too, so I'm sure he'd be willing to act as a proxy when we're off-world too."

"It's just the principle of the matter. They've proved themselves, but Woolsey refuses to even consider them to be trustworthy. Hell, he said that if I get these written affidavits he would consider letting them stay," he growled as they stepped into the transporter. John hit a spot on the map.

"I don't think he sees them as more than pets, honestly. Since he doesn't have the gene, he can't hear them, and I'm not sure he equates Post-Its with intelligence."

"Some days I think they're smarter than half of my staff," he grumbled as they stepped out of the transporter and into the residential wing. "Why are we here?"

"Because you need to de-stress before going back to the labs. I sent the squid to work and promised I'd calm you down."

"I'm perfectly fine," he said through gritted teeth, even as John ushered him into their apartment. "I don't need you handling me."

"I'm not handling you." As soon as the door was closed, John's mouth was on his.

Rodney let John kiss him, but as soon as he pulled away started complaining. "Yes, you are. You only do this when I'm frightening the squid."

"I do it other times, too. And de-stress sex is different from handling." John's hands were already under Rodney's shirt, touching all the right places.

"No, you don't. Not in the middle of the day like this."

"Maybe I'm just horny." John pushed Rodney's shirt up to swipe his tongue over a nipple.

"You're always horny," Rodney said with a groan.

"Complaining?" John moved to the other nipple, giving it the same attention.

"When you…oh god…use it to handle me…ohhhh….yeah."

"Uh huh, and you're getting laid. Still don't see the problem here." John had been working Rodney's pants open - he had proven to be way too good at multi-tasking—and sank to his knees suddenly, taking Rodney's cock into his mouth in one swoop.

"Oh god, John…" Rodney moaned, his head thumping back against the wall, his fingers tangling through John's hair.

His lover hummed around him. John had learned scary-fast how to suck cock like a pro, and it seemed like every time he did it, he just got better and better, even after all these months.

It took less than a minute for John to get him off, his body relaxing against the wall. John stood a few seconds later and moved him into the bedroom, removing their clothes before his brain came back online.

Rodney found himself on the bed with his legs spread. Before he really started to process, John's fingers, slick and perfect, were sliding into him.

"Oh…god….John. Still handling…"

"No, now I'm fucking." A second finger joined the first.

"John…" he whined.

A third finger pushed inside him, hitting his prostate.

He arched into John's touch, all thoughts of being handled by his lover vanishing from his mind. Seconds later, John was sliding in, filling him.

Rodney was constantly amazed at how fast John could get him hard, even after coming once. The pace was fast and hard, just the way he liked it, and John had him at the edge of another orgasm in no time flat.

"John," he moaned as John pounded into him, pushing him higher and higher, driving all other thoughts from his mind.

Suddenly, there was a hand on his cock. "Come for me, Rodney. Come now."

He groaned and came, his climax shuddering through his body, his mind whiting out slightly. He vaguely felt John coming in his ass.

When his brain came back online, John was lying next to him, still panting slightly.

"Hate you," he whispered, his entire body loose and stress-free.

"Nuh uh. You love me."

"Squid are happy with you today."

John chuckled. "I think they get high when we have sex from all the good feelings."

"God. I don't even want to think about that. They're only a year old. They should not have anything to do with sex."

"Yeah, but for them, a year is full grown. I wouldn't be surprised if they decide to have little squidlets of their own."

Rodney turned his head toward John, his eyes wide. "That's just…wrong. On so many levels."

"What? It's the circle of life and all that shit." John grinned at him and palmed Rodney's spent cock.

"They're just kids. Squid kids."

"They're adult squid now."

"A year old is still too young for them to have sex. Squid years or not."

John laughed softly. "Why don't I get something to clean us up? I have a feeling they won't stay away too much longer."

Rodney snorted. "Especially with how many times you want to have sex."

John leered at him as he got out of bed. "Did you know that, statistically speaking, we're on track to average about 350 orgasms a year?"

"That's all? That number seems…low."

"Well, I averaged in the numbers based on both days we have multiple orgasms, and days when one of us is too tired or injured or something. And I also factored in off-world overnight missions where we can't get distracted."

"That is if Woolsey lets me on the team again."

"He doesn't have a choice. You're a member of my team."

"If he agrees the squid are safe on Atlantis. I can't…" Rodney sighed quietly, trying not to think about what might happen, what could happen to the squid. "John, I can't just send them back to that planet. Not now."

John returned from the bathroom with a damp washcloth. "I know, and I agree with you. We'll try it the political way, and then we'll go from there."

John cleaned him easily, thoroughly, and Rodney let him. The thought of sending the squid back to their home planet was too painful to contemplate, but nightmares continued to plague his nights.

"Hey. It will be okay. We'll figure something out, okay? Don't worry about what hasn't happened yet."

"It just…they're still so young."

"I know. And I won't let anything happen to them, Rodney. You know that."

"They're so trusting and they fit here really well."

"I know. And we all love them." John set aside the washcloth and climbed back into bed beside Rodney, pulling him into his arms. "Once you get those signed notes, you should have the squid bring them to Woolsey. He needs to think of them as people, not as pets, and that might help."

Rodney snorted, letting John manhandle him, relaxing into his lover's arms. "He can't see beyond that. It's too…alien for him."

"Which is why having them interact more with him for the next few days isn't a bad idea. They're charming when they want to be, and it would go a long way toward loosening him up."

"I don't think a good fucking would loosen that man up."

John's laugh was soft against Rodney's skin. "Well, I'm not volunteering."

"Better not," he grumbled. "And I wasn't suggesting it be you. It was more of a…general statement."

"I know." John pressed a kiss into Rodney's shoulder. "But think about it. He really hasn't had much contact with the squid. That alone might be enough. He's not a stupid man, just set in his ways."

"He refuses to. If they're in a room and he's there, he leaves."

"So send them into his office with the notes and their charming selves. I'll ask Atlantis to 'malfunction' for a while with the door so he can't run away. I think he's more afraid of admitting intelligent life doesn't have to come in one standard package than anything else."

"And misusing the Atlantis systems like that would get me booted off so fast my head would spin. You know how Woolsey is about proper procedure." Rodney sighed. It was an old argument and one to which there was no easy solution.

"Which is why I'd be the one doing it." He felt John shrug. "As everyone keeps telling me, Atlantis runs better with me around, so I don't think he'd boot me for playing with his door."

"You'd be surprised."

"Okay, then have each person bring their notes to him and express in person how pissed they'll be if he boots them out against their wishes and yours. Maybe if enough people tell him that, he'll relent just to stop hearing about it."

Rodney sighed again, shifting against John, tangling their legs together more. "Do you really think it's going to make a difference? You know how he is."

"Yes, I do. I know how he is, and while he's a stickler for protocol, he's also not stupid. He might not like it, and he does resist it at times, but he knows this is a weird galaxy that changes all the rules. To be honest, I have a feeling he won't stay on here for all that long. Another year or two tops, and it will drive him so batty he'll ask the IOA to send someone else. In his own way, I think he cares about the city, and he knows he's not really the best person to be running it."

"And they'll send someone even less qualified." He closed his eyes and counted to ten. "Okay, I should probably get moving before the squid beat the door down."

"Or just give in to the inevitable and make you the civilian head of the city. Or, who knows, maybe O'Neill will retire and take over. Let's not borrow trouble."

"Yeah yeah yeah. Like I'd actually take that job that would give me more paperwork," he grumbled as he pushed himself up. And the whole handling thing, I still don't like it even though it results in orgasms."

"It wasn't handling, it was derailing the funk so you could get down to the business of thinking of solutions instead of thinking about ways to kill off Woolsey. The orgasms are just a bonus."

"It was handling. You do it every time I get in an uproar about something that could go very, very badly. Call it for what it is and don't patronize me. I'm smarter than you." He glared at John for a moment until the man shrugged. "Good. Now I still expect our usual tryst tonight."

Laughing, John rolled out of bed and pulled on his pants. "Of course. Mid-day sex doesn't have any effect on evening sex. It just means we're getting ahead of the bell curve."

"Good good. I have a schedule and I would hate to miss a very important scheduled appointment."

Stepping closer, John wrapped his arms around Rodney's waist. "I would never make you miss a very important appointment."

"Unless it was pre-empted by another very important appointment."

"The only appointment I consider very important is if something is about to blow up or sex is involved."

"Good to know," Rodney said with a smile as he leaned in to kiss John again.

As their lips met, the doors burst open and they were both swamped with four now very large squid.

"Naked! You're naked!"

John started cracking up as Rodney turned red. "Come on, kids, let's let your Daddy put on pants before we undo all the hard work of relaxing him I just put in."

"Bastard," Rodney whispered, silently thanking him as he led the squid away.

John shot him a grin as he herded everyone out, and Rodney could hear the squid chattering at John in the back of his head.

Thank god the squid could talk to anyone with an ATA gene now. It made his life a lot easier. At least some of the biologists answered the more embarrassing questions.

And from the way the questions had changed over the last few months, someone had been giving the squid Sex Ed 101—which Rodney was trying hard not to think about.

He pulled on underwear, pants, and a shirt before padding out into the living room area, picking up his old clothes along the way. He rolled his eyes.

John was sitting in the middle of the floor, and squid were crawling all over him in what looked like some sort of bizarre game.

"Do I want to know what you're doing?"

John was laughing. "They wanted to learn hand-to-hand combat so Woolsey won't send them away. I don't think it will be a problem. With the four of them together, I didn't stand a chance of staying on my feet, much less of keeping a weapon. We should have them try to take down Ronon."

"Oh god," Rodney said, paling at the thought. "That's just…no. Absolutely not."

John laughed again as the squid let him up. "Or maybe Teyla. I have to admit to a certain amount of satisfaction at the thought."

"No. They'll get hurt and…no."

John pulled Rodney in for a hug. "They won't get hurt, Rodney. But it's not a bad idea to teach them some fundamentals of defense. As much as we work to keep the city safe, we can't always. That's why we require all your scientists to get certified with a pistol, remember?"

"This is different," Rodney said, pulling away. "And I have work to do if we're going to be able to keep them in the city, so I need to get started."

John gave him a look that Rodney knew meant the discussion wasn't over, but John seemed okay with letting it drop for now. "If there's anything I can do to help, let me know."

"Just…you know the routine," he said as he snagged his earpiece on the way out the door to the labs. He stewed the whole way there, spotting Radek as soon as he walked in. "I need your help."

Radek raised an eyebrow. "This is a first. I do not ever recall you asking for help on anything."

"If I don't get your help, the squid will get tossed out on their proverbial ass. I don't actually think they have asses."

Radek blinked. "Well, that is unacceptable. What must we do? I assume Mister Woolsey is the sticking point? Shall I freeze environmental controls in his quarters?"

"No. He wants written affidavits that the squid will not cause problems in any department and will be supervised when I'm off-world on missions."

"You are serious? That is silliest thing I have ever heard. They are more productive than most, and when compared to people like Kavanaugh, they are genius."

"I'm dead serious. I was so worked up about it, Sheppard had to…okay, that's not relevant to the subject at hand, but we need to have every scientist the squids work with provide a written confirmation. Can you draft a document and then let each of them adjust it to their department?"

"Of course. I will send it out shortly, and I do not doubt they will all be outraged that he would ask this. They do not wish to lose them either."

"Good, good. Get right on that. I need to make some other arrangements."

"I will CC you when they go out."

"Good, good. You do that," he said with a nod, heading out once again, this time toward Evan Lorne's office.

He found the soldier at his desk, papers all around them. At least half was probably stuff John should be doing, but Evan was appalled at John's paperwork style, and John hated doing it anyway, so it worked out. "Doctor McKay. What can I do for you?"

"I need your…organizational skills."

Lorne blinked. "Sir?"

"We all know that you're the only one who knows what's going on…paperwork-wise in this city…on the military side of things. So, I need your help in coordinating a petition of sorts to assist me in my permanent residence effort regarding my squid."

Lorne opened his mouth a few times, then closed it. "Your permanent residence effort regarding the squid. What… okay, never mind. What can I do to help?"

"I need you to start a petition stating that the squid are a welcome addition to the citizens of Atlantis—specifically the soldiers. Woolsey is convinced they're a security risk and the devil's spawn. I'm trying to convince him otherwise."

"We're talking about the same squid, right? The ones who have been around for a year and whom the whole city are in love with? How the hell could they be a security risk?"

"Exactly my point," Rodney said, bouncing on his toes. "So you'll draw up a document the soldiers can sign?

"The fact that we need one…" Lorne muttered to himself for a minute. "I'll send it around ASAP. You'll have it in your inbox, and the affirmatives shortly after."

"Perfect," Rodney said, flashing a relieved smile. "I appreciate your assistance in this matter."

"No problem. The squid are OURS. We're not going to let them go without a fight."

"I'm just glad someone other than me realizes that."

"Woolsey is the only one who doesn't, honestly."

"And he's the one I need to convince."

Lorne rolled his eyes. "We'll take care of it, sir."

Rodney nodded."Then…see that you do," he said as he walked back out. Things were in place. Now it was up to Woolsey.

***

John wandered into Woolsey's office ahead of what he knew was going to be a deluge of paperwork. He figured the man at least deserved to know what was about to hit him. He was a bit of an ass at times, but John knew he did have good intentions. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course, Colonel," Woolsey said, looking up from his computer. "How can I help you?"

John dropped into the guest chair and tried not to grin. "Well, I just wanted to give you a heads up that you've started a mild revolution."

"A revolution?" Woolsey asked, his right eyebrow rising. "You're going to need to be less…cryptic than that, Colonel."

John lost the battle and chuckled. "Over the squid. McKay put out the word that he needed a few signatures on a petition to allow the squid to stay in the city. Well, that sort of snowballed. In about an hour, you're going to have documents from, as far as I know, ever person stationed here that they should stay—I read some of them and they're not really very flattering—and I've heard rumors that if you take their babies away, two-thirds of the science department and a quarter of the Marines are planning a sit-in in the Gateroom."

"If that is the case, then Doctor McKay has seriously overstepped the bounds of his authority."

"McKay didn't do anything, Richard." John shook his head. "He asked a few people if they would sign a petition to keep the squid on base, and let it be known that was your requirement for it. Beyond that, everyone else just sort of got up in arms about the whole thing. You see them as just squid, but most of the base sees them as adopted children, and you're trying to take the kids away."

"They are members of an alien population and they do not belong here on Atlantis."

"Technically, we're the aliens." John shrugged. "I'm not here to fling around accusations, Richard, I just wanted to give you a heads up. I don't think you're taking this position just to be an ass, but it's not winning you any points with the population here. The squid are well liked and have made themselves very useful—everyone they come in contact with has come to love them."

"This isn't a matter of whether or not they're well-liked in the city. There are specific regulations and rules—"

John cut him off. "Richard, have you looked around? We're not on Earth anymore. How many times have the rules and regulations done more harm than good here? I know we need rules, and I'm not saying we toss them out. But at the same time, flexibility and adaptability are key. You haven't been here as long, so you haven't seen some of it except on paper, but we'd be dead several times over if we hadn't learned to adapt and roll with the situation instead of trying to bend it to fit our ideas of what it should be."

"Without rules there's so society, no nothing. I answer to the IOA and they require us to run this facility by the book."

"Just… do me a favor. I know you haven't spent much time with the squid. It's obvious they make you uncomfortable. But before you make a decision, spend some time with them. They're not animals. They're sentient and they love this city and people as much as we do. The IOA is a long way away, Richard. And frankly, if we all died, it would just be a mark in someone's ledger. I know we have to play politics, and I'm grateful it's you and not me that has to do it. But at least give yourself the chance to fully understand the situation and don't use a rule book as a crutch because the idea of the squid makes you uncomfortable."

Woolsey straightened in his chair. "I never said they made me uncomfortable. I just believe they are better served to live in their natural habitat."

"But you're making that decision based on your own beliefs, not on actually taking the time to get to know them." John sighed. "I know I can't make you do anything, and that's not what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to help you here. Elizabeth and I fought constantly over the first few years about a lot of these same things, and in the end, it cost people their lives. I know this isn't a life or death situation, but I'd rather not have it come to that. I know it caused her a lot of pain, knowing she had those deaths on her shoulders because she tried to use rules to make decisions instead of going with what was the best for the given situation."

There was a soft shuffle at the door and then Rodney was talking. "So you're consorting with the enemy now, are you?"

John shrugged. "He's not the enemy, he's just working with the idea that Atlantis and Earth work the same way. And which of the squid told on me?"

"All of them," Rodney said as he stepped into the office, a tablet PC in his hands. "I was coming here anyway to deliver all of the information Mister Woolsey here requested in regards to the permanent residence request from the squid."

John glanced at Woolsey. "Why don't you call them in? I think spending a few minutes chatting with them and letting them tell Richard why they want to stay might help, too."

"They're hiding behind Chuck," Rodney said with a half smile. "Not that they're doing a very good job on the hiding part."

John looked around Rodney and had to chuckle. It was actually pretty funny to watch. He sent a little thought at them to come on in, and to be on their best behavior. They had grown up a lot in the last few months, and while they were still curious and mischievous, they did get the seriousness of the situation.

Rodney stepped up to Woolsey's desk, handing over the tablet. "Here are all the requested documents from all of the section heads in my department, along with a petition from the military to have the squid remain indefinitely as citizens of Atlantis."

The four of them came in tentatively, and John held out a hand to invite them to all curl around him. "Guys, tell Mr. Woolsey why you want to stay."

Several Post-it Notes, popped up, answers ranging from "We like it here" and "We don't want to leave Daddy" to "We don't want to leave" and "It's home".

Woolsey blinked, and glanced down at the information Rodney had provided. "This is against policy..."

"You asked for documentation. You have it," Rodney said tightly. John could see the tension in the scientist's body.

Woolsey glanced at John, and finally sighed. "I don't agree with this, and if the IOA wants a review, I'll expect you to handle it."

"We'll take care of anything that happens—not that anything will happen," Rodney said.

Woolsey pinched the bridge of his nose, and looked constipated, but he finally nodded. "All right. It's apparent I've been outnumbered."

Rodney bounced on his toes but held his tongue. John was proud of him for that. He had told Rodney this morning not to rub it in if he won the fight.

Standing, John grinned at Woolsey. "We appreciate it, and you won't regret it."

"I already regret it, but it seems that I'm in the minority."

John decided to take the victory and herded everyone out of Woolsey's office.

"We won," Rodney whispered—in the usual non-quiet Rodney whisper. Someone on the Western Pier probably heard him crow.

John rolled his eyes, but shared a grin. "The squid are here to stay."

"We might want to get them their own apartment…next to ours."

John felt a warm flush at that. While technically he still had his own quarters, he pretty much lived in Rodney's now. To hear it called "ours" gave him a little rush. "Yeah. Our little squid are all grown up."

"I wouldn't say all grown up. They're only a year old."

"In squid years, they're adults now."

Rodney stuck his fingers in his ears as they walked to the transporter room. "Lalalalala Not hearing you."

Laughing, John put an arm around Rodney's shoulders. "Who knows, maybe we'll have grandsquid at some point."

"Oh god, that's just…wrong. They're not dating…ever and they're not allowed to take the puddlejumper out either."  


"You can't keep them babies forever, Rodney. Letting go is part of being a parent."

"I am not a parent."

"Yes, you are. Your kids are just squid."

They stepped into the transport and John hit the spot closest to the labs. "They're still never dating. Or having sex."

John laughed and leaned in for a kiss. "Whatever you say, Rodney."

"Bastard," Rodney grumbled, a half-smile on his face.

"And you love it."

"Yeah yeah. They're still not dating. And don't you even think about teaching them to skateboard."

"Too late. Blue and Purple already love it." John grinned. "They plucked it out of my head while I was fooling around with a board down on one of the piers."

"You what!" Rodney yelled as soon as they stepped out of the transporter. "Are you insane? They're going to get hurt and it'll be all your fault because you're so damn reckless."

"Don't worry. I had engineering make them helmets. And safety pads. It took some doing to create pads for all those tentacles."

Rodney narrowed his eyes. "You did not. I would have heard about it. If not from engineering then from the squid. They can't keep anything to themselves."

"I think they were worried you would say no." John shrugged. "They plucked it out of my head and were pretty determined to try it, so I figured it was better to do under supervision and with the right equipment than have them trying it on their own."

"Reckless behavior," Rodney grumbled as they moved toward his lab.

"I can't wait to teach them how to surf. They'll be amazing at it, especially since they're, you know, squid."

The fingers went in ears again. "Lalalalalala not listening!"

Laughing, John dropped Rodney off at the lab, where the news had already spread that the squid were staying, and people were excited.

Rodney was immediately surrounded by people, thanking him, talking to him. The squid appeared several moments later and were pulled into the middle of the crowd.

From what John was picking up from them, they were having a blast, and even Rodney was having a good time, flushed with pleasure. John leaned against a wall, out of the crowd and just watched. This was his family,

***

The End


End file.
